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Going Nowhere

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There used to be a time when the public’s attention turned to test cricket, tennis and crown green bowls over the summer but I’m not sure football has had a day off since May. With the U-21s, the World Club Cup and the womens’ Euros it’s literally not stopped and there’s no getting away from it. I want to spend 3 months every year not thinking about football, not being subjected to even more of it every time I turn the telly on.

As ever, I’m doing my best to stay away from the annual festival of bullshit that is the summer transfer window, but it’s difficult to stop scrolling once you get started. It all started quite brightly with the news that Matheus Cunha was boxed off day one but once Mbeumo’s name was mentioned things took a familiar turn. At the time of writing it’s been reported that a third offer has finally broken the deadlock but even so, this ongoing saga is proving more difficult to conclude than deals for Marcelo Salas, Wesley Sneider and Frenkie de Jong combined.

The main issue with United’s newly improved negotiating tactics is that our track record whenever in this position speaks for itself. We always cave in the end as other clubs are all too aware. The money in the PL means that the likes of Brentford can turn their nose up at £60M offers because they’re in no rush and under no pressure to sell. Why would they when the likelihood is we’ll pay the full asking price eventually. 

If the club really wanted to demonstrate a change in approach they would have told them to sling it a month ago and quietly informed the player that they would try again in 12 months’ time. £65 million is a more than acceptable offer for a player of his calibre so if Brentford don’t want to sell then forget it and move on. Dragging things on over several weeks in the vain hope they’ll suddenly cave seems to be a hopelessly misguided way of conducting business. 

The fact we’re nowhere nearer addressing the fact we still need a centre-forward concerns me more. We appear to have done the entire budget on a couple of players in a position where we already have ample cover as opposed to fixing the obvious deficiencies in the squad. I suppose the plan is to tackle these once we eventually manage to offload a few high profile names set to depart the club this summer. 

It came as no surprise that Aston Villa decided against taking up their option on Marcus Rashford because they aren’t daft and they’ve seen first-hand what his actual level is these days. Barcelona seems to be his preferred destination and incredibly, rather than being wishful thinking on his part it looks like it’s actually going to happen. Teddy Sheringham was bang on the other week when he claimed the player didn’t deserve such a move because he simply doesn’t. 

I know it sounds peak boomer but I’ll genuinely be seething if he ends up at Barca. I’ll always wish ex-players well when they’ve put in a proper shift here but I’m afraid Rashford abandoned all pretence of that some time ago. Unfortunately he’s now part of a small but very select group (Di Maria and Pogba the others who spring to mind) who can just do one. That clown walking out in front of 90K at the Nou Camp will have me triggered, big-style. If he does pull this off then his PR team deserves every penny they’ve fleeced off him in recent years. He should be playing for Luton Town or Huddersfield this season. 

Another guaranteed inductee into the ‘former players who can fuck off’ group is Jadon Sancho. I recall a blue acquaintance regaling me with rumours of his questionable attitude when he was at Dortmund but I dismissed this as unsubstantiated bitter ramblings. Somehow the little slug looks set to move to Juventus and trouser a £4M payoff from United in the process. Honestly, Woodward and Arnold should be in the dock for the remuneration packages they offered players between 2018-2022. Class action suit for industrial-scale criminal negligence, anyone?

In addition to this pair we still have to shift Antony and Garnacho and again, suitors willing to pay a transfer fee (remember them?) seem thin on the ground. I expect Anthony will return to Betis for another loan spell whereas Garnacho will end up at Chelsea once they manage to offload a couple surplus to requirements. I don’t quite understand what the situation is at Chelsea as they sign new players on 10 year contracts every week yet still seem to function as a whole quite coherently. Their ability to account for this without contravening PSR needs to be studied or do the rules not apply in West London or something?

The question is, will these expected departures generate the requisite funds to finance a world-class striker? It doesn’t look too promising given the remaining budget. Some of the names linked so far range from laughable to terrifying (Jamie Vardy, Moise Kean, Calvert-Lewin) and don’t suggest much of an upgrade from our current options. Indeed, Amorim has already tempered expectations by suggesting we can get by with a reduced squad this season due to the lack of European football. 

Unless the club can do something dramatic in the next few weeks (hiring Chelsea’s accountant might be a start) and bring in some additional reinforcements it promises to be a difficult few months ahead. There’s still some time, but pre-season is already underway and we’ve not fixed the main issues that made the last campaign such an ordeal. I can understand the inability to recruit a guaranteed goalscorer as it’s incredibly expensive and fraught with difficulty but not signing a new keeper at this stage would be bafflingly stupid. 

Noises coming out of the club suggest a top 5 finish is the target for forthcoming season. It’s an ambitious target as looking at the fixture list, it’ll only take 2-3 defeats in that opening run of games before the manager’s future is being called into question again. Amorim’s default mode of plain speaking and refusing to dress things up is admirable but won’t help him much if we’re in the bottom half of the table in October. As you may have already surmised, I’m not feeling too confident about his prospects at this stage. I really hope I’m wrong. 

Copyright Red News – August 2025

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Euphoria

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Even if attempts to salvage something from this season via Europa success ultimately end in failure, we’ll always have Lyon at home. We’ve been fortunate enough to witness many trophies won over the years but I’d argue moments like that Maguire winner are a much rarer, more precious thing in the life of a football supporter. As an approximate guess I’ve probably celebrated, I dunno, getting on for 2000 goals at United games. That one was right up there as one of the greatest ever. Just for the sheer improbability of what had just occurred. 

I can probably count on two hands occasions at the match where I’ve reached that level of headloss previously. It’s a feeling that defies a rational explanation and even if you tried, it wouldn’t sound credible to anyone who hadn’t experienced the same thing themselves. Such scenes tend to be described as ‘limbs’ these days by social media try-hards, with most examples shared tending to be contrived and merely performative. That Maguire goal was more than just limbs, it was one of those moments where you blackout completely and come round 30-40 seconds later thinking ‘what the fuck just happened?’

The feeling it evokes is something close to genuine elation. People try to seek it out through religion, sex, drugs or music but I dunno… as sad as it may sound, to my mind nothing on earth comes close to an injury time winner in absurd circumstances like that. I really should have grown out of this by now. I’m 51 years old and have had many great days watching United but clearly, they still possess the ability to stun me on occasion. What a night. What a feeling. Football man. 

As Napoli edge ahead in the race for this year’s Scudetto, the man of the moment is Scott McTominay who’s been tearing things up since his move to Italy. Regular MOTM performances, plenty of goals and rave reviews every week – good for him. Whilst I’m pleased that the move has worked out for the lad, I still can’t get my head around the chorus of social media wailing that follows his every performance now. McTominay is doing well at Napoli but that doesn’t mean that United weren’t entirely correct to sell him when they did. 

During his 7 years as a first team player with over 250 appearances, I can barely recall a single occasion when he dominated the midfield. I know he chipped in with a few goals, particularly during his last season, but for the most part he was a passenger in an underperforming team. His attitude was good but his range of passing was poor and he’d routinely concede possession. Even more crucially, he’d regularly go missing when we were crying out for someone to show for the ball. This isn’t singling him out for criticism as his midfield colleagues were equally at fault more often than not. 

The fact he’s doing well in Serie A is great for him personally and I hope he continues to enjoy himself there. But let’s put this in some perspective given that he’s back playing alongside Romalu Lukaku. Christ, Darmian and Mkhitaryan are still turning out for Inter Milan at the combined age of 71. I know Italian football is highly technical and can be just as wildly entertaining as it was in its fabled 90s heyday, but it’s just not comparable with the insane physical level of the Premier League. You receive the ball in Italy and have 3-4 seconds to think about what’s next as opposed to having 3 players closing you down in an instant. McTominay is thriving there because the game is played at a slower pace and it suits him better. 

I don’t wish to come across as a know-it-all but I told you last month that Bilbao was definitely happening and it looks like it definitely is. I refuse to entertain intrusive thoughts of impending disaster in the home leg so as far as I’m concerned we’ve already qualified for the final. And no, I’m not feeling smug at all about booking direct return flights from MCR last July whilst everyone else is now scrambling round for ways to get there via Timbuktu. 

The recent visit for the semi-final provided another memorable day and showcased what an incredible place it is. It’s a cheap drink, the food is world class and the hosts are some of the nicest people you will ever meet. The centre was buzzing all day with locals out on the streets bedecked in red and white stripes. I’m not just talking groups of lads – I mean entire families, pensioners, kids and family pets. All very friendly, not a hint of malice anywhere, all wanting to shake hands and welcome us to their city. 

As we got closer to the ground an hour or so before kick off I couldn’t quite believe the scene there. There were thousands packed into the streets surrounding the stadium and there was a full-on carnival taking place. Fireworks, smoke bombs going off, music pumping out of bars – they were having a proper party. I asked a local kid if this was because it was a big game and he just shrugged and said “a few more people because of the bank holiday… but no, it’s always like this”. Personally I’d never seen anything like it. What a gaff. 

If we do meet Spurs as is looking likely then I’m sure it’ll be fine for the most part. They are seasoned travellers like us and I expect the vast majority will be wanting a peaceful trip without any mither. With a 15,000 allocation everyone who merits a ticket should get one easily enough, and that’s including members with credits who’re ineligible to apply as things stand. Once people start looking at the logistics of getting there and the lack of accommodation I expect many will swerve it in the end – so there should be plenty of spares floating about for anyone struggling. (Remember this was the case for Stockholm in 2017.)

Fingers crossed then, after what’s been an utter shitshow for the most part, 2024-25 might well end on a high. At times it felt like the club had been cursed this season but perhaps not, eh? Good luck steering clear of the Irish bar divs in Bilbao, enjoy the summer break and I’ll see you in August. 

Copyright Red News – May 2025

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Dizzy Heights

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Even in this (putting it mildly) testing season, we’re still fortunate enough to experience days that many other football clubs would dine out on for decades. Another trip to San Sebastián was guaranteed to provide some respite from our domestic travails, only tempered by the suspicion it might turn out to be the final European trip for a good while. A couple of days of wine and pinchos bookending a moderately important game of football would be a more than satisfactory way to bow out if this was to be our last hurrah. 

As it was, any fears were unfounded as the team came away with a credible draw – lucky perhaps to have encountered a Sociedad side who looked even more toothless than United. The tie was then settled at OT a week later where for the first time, we got a glimpse of what Amorim ball might look like in the future. I remarked to a mate as we walked out of the ground how weird it was to see the entire crowd smiling and happy. We’ve been so bad at home for so long that such occasions now feel like rarities. 

Assuming relegation is successfully avoided, the entire season now rests on the Europa League and I can’t help believing that we’re gonna win it now. I know this flies in the face of common sense, but it just strikes me as a very United way of concluding what has been the worst campaign in decades. We’ll beat Lyon in a couple of weeks and then providing we get at least a draw in Bilbao we’ll do them at OT, no problem. Then it’ll be back to Bilbao for the final where we’ll face perennial bottlers, Spurs. I’m telling you, it’s happening. 

The slight upturn in form that preceded the international break signalled the moment for the club to finally send ST renewal emails. A general 5% increase is probably lower than most were expecting given the rumours that had suggested a hike of 20% or more. Nevertheless, the pattern is now set for year on year rises until we’re paying the kind of prices billionaire Sir Jim probably sees as fair and reasonable. Freezing prices for under-16s was a blatant attempt to manipulate the narrative but the continued erosion of the OAP discount signals exactly what the club’s long term intentions are. 

It wouldn’t surprise me if the rumours suggesting hefty price increases were started with the intention of making a 5% rise more palatable. Credit to the FAB for engaging with the club and arguing vociferously against any rises at all – but they’re ultimately fighting a losing battle when the club’s entire operating strategy is based on generating as much revenue as possible from any source they can think of. Long-term ST holders are an inconvenience blocking the club’s ability to welcome further hoards of free-spending day trippers. It’s the same story at virtually all PL clubs now. 

Obviously, we’re being manipulated in the same way we have been for years. The laughable explanation that the rises are necessary due the club’s financial woes could almost be described as gaslighting. So we’re supposed to believe that we’re in this mess because we’ve not been paying enough at the turnstiles? Do me a favour. The club is financially screwed because the Glazers saddled it with unsustainable debts that have grown exponentially despite a cumulative income of around £8.5 billion since 2005. They’ve pocketed £166M in dividend payments whilst employing utter buffoons to oversee what’s basically been a managed decline over the last couple of decades. 

Prior the price rise reveal we were treated to our first look at ‘New Trafford’, with the proposed plans for the new stadium being thrust into the media spotlight. Some would describe the design choice as ‘bold’, others might use the word ‘ridiculous’. It just left me shaking my head as it looks even more deranged than anticipated. I mean, of course they’ve come up with a concept featuring 3 massive towers visible from Liverpool. I mean, what billion pound in debt already-business wouldn’t think of that as an entirely sensible proposal? Honestly, what a club. 

Tellingly, once again there was zero information provided on how the club intends to fund this monstrosity. Which, as you may recall, was the most glaring omission from the plans presented at the OT Regeneration public meetings held back in December. With the continued absence of such crucial detail, speculation is only going to intensify as to exactly what their plan entails. JP O’Neill, the esteemed former editor of Red Issue published a Substack piece that provided some insight on a potential worst-case scenario. 

Given their reluctance to entertain the prospect of renovating the existing ground, it’s looking increasingly possible that any new stadium could ultimately be owned by a 3rd party entertainment behemoth with the club merely holding a long term lease. Meanwhile, all current assets will be demolished with the land sold off to property developers – which would explain precisely why Gary Neville has been involved from the start. In short, a potential sale and leaseback that would mean another insane payday for the Glazers and leave the club as tenants in the shiny new OT megadome. 

It’s a vomit inducing prospect, but a very real one. Although nothing is confirmed, I don’t see how else this project becomes viable without such a doomsday scenario being presented as a fait accompli. The e-reds won’t mind in the slightest as most don’t have the attention span to understand the implications of the club surrendering their core assets and signing off on a rental home. That would be quite some legacy for an alleged ‘life-long red’ to leave behind. If this is just scaremongering and doesn’t reflect Ratcliffe and the Glazers’ intentions, then let’s hear some denials. 

Copyright Red News – April 2025

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