Thieves Like Us

Confession: up until a couple of years ago, I was broadly in favour of a new ground. I’m not particularly sentimental when it comes to buildings plus I don’t think I’m the only one who feels OT lost its soul when the Stretford End was demolished. So when the question of moving periodically came up I would blithely wave it away and claim I wasn’t really bothered. Admittedly, this could also have been influenced by the fact I didn’t think there was even the remotest chance of it ever happening. The club has been saddled with massive debts for 20 years+ so the prospect always seemed a non-starter.

Other clubs have borrowed heavily to finance new stadiums but United are already mortgaged up to their eyeballs just to try and remain competitive. That’s the net result of 2 decades of Glazer occupation during which time OT has barely changed. In an ideal world we’d have built over the railway line when plans for that were drawn up in the early noughties. They’ve shown no interest in infrastructure investment from the minute they took over. Instead it’s been the odd lick of paint here and there and several failed attempts at fixing the famously leaking roof. Scandalous really, but that’s where we’re at.

It’s now 18 months since there was any news on the proposed new stadium but last week Collette Roche was wheeled out to provide an update of sorts. Although she trilled enthusiastically about making a lot of progress over the last year, as usual there was little substantive detail provided. Apparently the land acquisition is progressing “really, really well” but there was nothing to suggest any movement on the reported deadlock with Freightliner. Given there’s a reputed £350M gap in valuations to overcome, don’t expect this one to be resolved quickly.

There’s still no indication of exactly who’s planning to pay for it either, although the club have now confirmed (as long suspected) that they’re seeking outside investment. The likely source of funding will be from US-based private equity giants, the likes of Blackstone Inc, Ares Management or Apollo Global. Another possibility would be the Carlyle Group, who were reported to be in talks with the Glazers when they were finalising plans to sell part of their stake in the club back in 2023.

Aside from coming clean about financing, there was literally nothing else to report. The rest of the interview saw Roche trotting out the usual platitudes about fan engagement, “we want to build this stadium with them, not for them”, which is quite frankly the biggest load of bollocks I’ve ever heard in my life. Not a single United fan I know wants this move and most people actively despise the idea. As has been clear from the start of this process, the club had a preordained idea what they wanted and any efforts to consult with fans on the subject are merely performative

At the first round of Town Hall Meetings at OT in 2024 we were told that this was just the first step and there would be plenty more opportunities to engage. In the subsequent 18 months there’s been a single survey sent out gauging reaction to various ticketing options (rest assured, this proposed debenture scheme will definitely happen)… and that’s it. Apparently there were some smaller focus groups held last year (including season ticket holders and members) but I’ve no idea how they were selected – I attended the first meeting and haven’t heard anything since.

Whilst I’m sure the club are determined to retain outright ownership of the new stadium, the fact the entire project is reliant on outside investment raises the distinct possibility that this might not be the case. Further debt financing is neither desirable nor affordable so I expect an entirely new structure could be the most likely outcome. MUFC would become a separate entity with a joint venture company or special purpose vehicle (SPV) forming to encompass everything related to the new stadium.

Although there’s no official confirmation that MUFC won’t be the primary owners, given that existing debts are at such a high level, it’s hard to see how they’ll secure funding without setting up a “stadium company” model. This kind of lease-back arrangement with shared ownership would be infinitely more attractive to any potential investor. It would result in MUFC technically paying rent to the stadium company who would then use that revenue to pay down the loans taken out that funded the building costs.

The optics around this are pretty terrible of course, but INEOS are well-versed in spin and they’ll be plenty of client journalists on-hand to pretend this is all very wholesome and above board. Call me a dinosaur if you like but I’m still fuming that we’re being led down this path to start with. I’m absolutely convinced that the club’s claim of 52% of ST Holders and members being in favour of moving was inaccurate. Whilst we’re on that subject, why were members consulted at all? I’m not interested in what Rory from Hemel Hempstead who goes once a season thinks

I strongly suspect the main driver behind all this, ultimately, is the desire for one final gargantuan payday prior to the Glazers selling up. By borrowing heavily to fund a new stadium they’ll essentially be repeating what they did in 2005 – using someone else’s money to buy something they can’t afford and saddling the club (or “stadium company” in this case) with another couple of billion pounds of debt. Once the project is greenlit, both the club and the surrounding land will appreciate in value and revenue projections will increase. At that point the share price will rise sharply and they’ll be free to ride off into the sunset.

Every club who moves starts off thinking their new home is brilliant before the initial excitement subsides and they start lamenting what they’ve lost. West Ham and Spurs went through it and Everton are currently in the process of realising life at the Hill-Dickinson isn’t all that. I’ve been to both the Met-Life and the SoFi in the USA and although visually impressive, they’re essentially gigantic, corporate megadomes. I’m calling it now, the novelty of selling off our history for chicken tenders, cup holders and £1500 season tickets will wear off in a matter of weeks.

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Don’t Stop

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Well that was pretty good, wasn’t it? I don’t think even the most ardent optimist could have predicted that set of results during Michael Carrick’s first month in charge. I mean, we could all see that Amorim’s favoured 5-3-2 wasn’t exactly working but I didn’t quite grasp the extent to which it was actively holding us back. I know it’s early days and I’m not getting carried away yadda yadda but basically everything is sorted now. Even if we don’t win the league this year we’re definitely winning it next season.

Obviously I’m not being entirely serious here but credit where credit’s due, given the absolute dross served up in recent times it’s been quite the turnaround. We’ve played some lovely stuff over the last few games featuring some scarcely believable passages of play from the same group of players who’ve been unable to string 3 passes together for much of the last 18 months. Whereas previously they looked tentative and passive, they now appear hungry and confident. This is more like it, lads.

There’s been a few parallels drawn with the similarly feelgood start to Solskjaer’s time in charge during the winter of 2018/19. United won 8 on the bounce and 14 of his first 19 games in charge prompting Woodward to hand him a 3 year contract. Form then nosedived completely and we won 2 of the next 10, missing out on a CL spot that should have been achieved comfortably. Needless to say, it is vital that the club avoids making a similar judgement on Carrick now. Yes, it’s all very encouraging but let’s see how the season plays out before making any kind of decision.

That’s not to say I wouldn’t want to see him given the job full-time. If this kind of form continues for the remainder of the season he’ll rightly be seen as a very strong candidate. Out of all the names mentioned there’s only Ancelotti who I’d feel confident in and he’s already kiboshed the idea saying he’d only consider Real Madrid after his stint in Brazil comes to an end. If the other contenders are limited to the bloke from Crystal Palace and the bloke just sacked by Spurs then I expect Carrick has a great chance irrespective of what happens from now until May.

Football punditry continues to get worse year by year, mainly due to the need to fill hour after hour of non-stop coverage on multiple platforms. I thought we’d reached saturation point when Sky Sports News became a thing, but it’s even worse now due to the fan cam crowd and already over-exposed faces like Neville and Keane now having their own YouTube channel or whatever it is. I don’t actively seek out any of this content but it’s still everywhere because even if you don’t watch it you’re force-fed clips on social media or their latest nonsense makes the next day’s headlines. It’s exhausting.

Arsenal are currently getting it from all angles just because the media decided to crown them PL champions back in October. This wasn’t based on anything other than City had a bad start and Liverpool’s form dropped off a cliff. Now to clarify, I don’t like Arsenal but compared to City and Liverpool I really don’t mind them that much. I don’t like their manager, their knobhead internet fans (same as every other club) and I don’t like them fouling goalkeepers at corners. I do find the reaction to their current sticky patch to be pretty pathetic, however.

The PL is a genuine test of endurance and given the level of competition, winning it is incredibly difficult. Truth be told, Arsenal don’t look anything like the team they were a couple of years ago. Literally everyone in my circle has agreed for months that they still expect City to win it – it didn’t take a genius to predict they would improve after Christmas and Arsenal’s nerves would kick in as the run-in approached. Nevertheless, the media consensus was that it was basically a one-horse race and they were going to walk it.

So now there’s a tedious pile-on since the cracks are starting to show and their lead has been reduced to 2 points. You expect this level of discourse from Goldbridge-level bantz merchants but now it’s all over the mainstream media too. I’m honestly sick of it and it genuinely impedes on my enjoyment of the sport. I get more nuance and perspective talking to mates in the pub than I do from any talking head on Sky Sports filling another 30 mins of mind-numbingly banal content. I’ve honestly reached the stage where I don’t wish to hear Gary Neville utter a single word on any subject for the rest of my life.

Another one who needs to stop talking is Jim Ratcliffe, who continues to show he’s a genuinely terrible person each time he opens his mouth. It’s not exactly a shock to learn that a 73 year old billionaire holds some Enoch Powell-esque political opinions, but most of those operating in the public eye at least have the good grace to keep them under wraps. Monaco-dwelling Jim is proving himself a massive hypocrite and is in a major strop because his business is struggling and UK industry isn’t thriving post-Brexit as he predicted.

Ratcliffe may well have valid grievances with the government about Net Zero and its effect on the chemicals sector, but using talk of colonialism as a stick to strike back at them is incredibly snide and disingenuous. The Britain First march in Manchester last weekend serves as a reminder how the far right are quick to capitalise whenever the subject of immigration hits the headlines. Whether that was his intention or not, public figures like Ratcliffe espousing broadly similar views plays directly into their hands and provides further oxygen for their narrative.

If any other club representative had expressed similar sentiments it would likely have resulted in a reprimand and disciplinary action given the current climate of football club’s promoting diversity and inclusivity at every opportunity. It’s easy to scoff at ‘wokeist’ initiatives and how they’ve become almost obligatory for pretty much every organisation existing in modern Britain. Ratcliffe’s comments give a clue as to precisely why they’re necessary.

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Round & Round

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Although Amorim’s sacking didn’t exactly come as a shock (formerly seismic events like managerial changes are relatively commonplace at United these days), until his mini meltdown following the draw at Leeds I honestly thought there were tentative signs he was finally getting somewhere. Although punctuated by several demoralising home draws against PL strugglers, we’ve only actually lost twice in the 14 league games since the start of October. So no, I didn’t really see this one coming.

One can only assume that despite unease behind the scenes at the perceived lack of progress, things only escalated once he started throwing out thinly-veiled digs in front of the media. I can sort-of see the rationale since both performances and results still left a lot to be desired, I just don’t quite understand the timing or what we’re gaining by dismissing him now. Fletcher taking charge prior to another caretaker before a full time appointment at the end of the season, is it? Months of mindless speculation as to the identity of the new leading man for the never-ending Man United soap opera. Marvellous – that’s just what we need.

I can’t really accept the idea that making a change now improves the chances of European football either. I never felt confident that Amorim was the man long-term but giving him until the end of the season rather than messing about with further interim appointments would have made more sense. By all means, privately decide he’s toast and seek out a successor now but making another mid-season change strikes me as bafflingly ill-advised. We’ve been here before and it only piles on the pressure and invites further media scrutiny.

You can’t appoint a man to undertake a 4 year job on a limited budget and then sack him after 14 months. Rightly or wrongly, he was stubbornly bound to his 3-4-3 but surely that was part of his appeal to start with? He was supposedly the Ineos candidate, the best in class and would receive unwavering support from the club hierarchy. Are they that thin-skinned that all it took to change that was a couple of mildly inflammatory remarks in a press conference? I thought adopting a definitive system was part of the plan as opposed to pursuing vague notions like ‘club DNA’ and ‘the United way’.

Which brings us to the potential appointment of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer as interim manager from now until the end of the season. Honestly, I’m speechless that the idea is even being contemplated given his previous stint as vibes controller from 2018 to 2021. The malignant influences in the dressing room were given free rein to run riot during that time as Ole set out to “put a smile back on peoples’ faces” following the tumultuous last few months of Mourinho’s tenure. Certain people must have very short memories if they can’t recall how bad that period was.

After Ten Hag left I can recall saying here it was imperative we ended the cycle of hiring and firing managers every 18 months. Even with unlimited funds it’s almost an impossible task to dismantle and re-build a squad capable of challenging for the title within such a period. If it’s true the likes of Wilcox and Ratcliffe were trying to impose their own ideas on formations and tactics then Amorim had every right to start kicking off. He was unequivocal about the way he was going to play from day one so I’d suggest any fault lies with the Ineos crew for appointing him in the first place.

Amorim’s reign will rightly be remembered for the poor football and abysmal win ratio but I’ll maintain he did some sterling work in weeding out the dickhead contingent. He binned Rashford, Sancho and Garnacho as well jettisoning expensive Ten Hag flops like Onana and Antony. Both the wage bill and the player’s sense of entitlement was reset completely within a few months of him taking over and despite not getting results, at least we’ve re-gained the sense of being a semi-serious football team. I can’t recall any instances of the players wandering round and appearing not to give a shit over the last few months.

Whoever does come in needs to impose themselves quickly or there’s a risk of the freshly-installed sense of discipline evaporating. Mainoo recovering from injury at the precise moment Amorim departed could have been mere coincidence but looked highly suspicious. His brother and sister could do with winding their necks in too – courting likes and attention from fawning idiots on social media. Your brother hasn’t been imprisoned here, he’s a 20 year old kid on the fringes of the Man United team. If you think such a ‘plight’ is somehow unjust then he’s welcome to try his luck at another club – see how that affects your follower count.

Even Bruno was at it just before Christmas, grizzling to Canal 11, a Portuguese Football Federation-owned channel that the club “wanted me to leave” during the summer. Quite why he chose to go public with this now is a mystery, but even more astonishing is the level of self-delusion on display. Bruno mate, of course they wanted you to leave when your Saudi suitors were promising a £100M cheque in return. You were the club’s most sellable asset in transfer window where they desperately needed to recoup funds and were a billion pounds in debt.

I’m not sure why he’s harbouring any resentment because it looks like they simply put the offer on the table and said “it’s entirely up to you”. He’s lucky he was even consulted as I’m certain any other club in United’s position would have ushered him out of the door irrespective of his own thoughts on the matter. Bruno has put in a great shift as a United player and will be remembered fondly once he’s left, but let’s have it right – he’s also been highly remunerated too. Don’t be banging on about loyalty when your employers have just made 400+ redundancies whilst you’re still trousering £15M a year.

What’s now certain is that any lingering hopes of the Ineos management team proving themselves more capable than Woodward and Arnold have now been extinguished. Indeed, the current bunch seems more dysfunctional than ever given that Berrada, Wilcox and Ratcliffe still require ultimate sign-off from the Glazer lair in Florida. Given that both Ashworth and Brailsford have left the club since the last time they were recruiting a manager, I suppose there’s a slightly improved chance of everyone being in full agreement this time out. They have to get this next decision right. (Spoiler alert: they probably won’t.)

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