Tag Archives: erik ten hag

Welcome To The Pleasuredome

So here we are again. After the protégé, the legend, the serial winner, the ex-player and the unknown German bloke, this time we’ve opted for a bald manager. Quite honestly, I’ve got no idea how this one will work out but I can take a wild guess. The “open heart surgery” as prescribed by Dr Ralf has predictably failed to materialise so ten Hag needs to try and get a tune out of the same set of chancers who failed his predecessors so spectacularly. Good luck with that one, Erik. 

The notion that Rangnick would take up a consultancy position was always highly suspect, especially given how everything unravelled towards the end of last season. It has to go down as one of the most bonkers appointments ever by an alleged top tier club. Expecting that group of players to adapt to a highly energetic, pressing style of play dictated by a man found holed up in Russia after spending 20 years kicking round mid-tier German clubs was quite deranged thinking. I’ll always respect Ralf for sticking his neck out and briefing against certain individuals, but that’s only because I feel nothing but disdain for them too. It all felt very liberating but as a motivational tool it was desperate stuff.

At least ten Hag has been spared the misfortune of having Paul Pogba to contend with. Once his departure was confirmed I toyed with the idea of sitting through the Pogmentary, thinking it might prove quite cathartic given how much I’ve grown to despise him. The reviews were universally terrible, making it sound every bit the ill-conceived, vanity project you’d expect from someone who considers a 280K weekly wage as derisory. The real mystery is why on earth he was offered any incentive to remain here at all given how he’s royally taken the piss for the last 5 years. I didn’t bother watching in the end. Much like the man himself, I just couldn’t be arsed. 

News arrived that the next biggest ego at the club was seeking an exit too. Other than commercial reasons, I’m not sure what the sense is in clinging on to Ronaldo if he does want out. United desperately need committed players, so it doesn’t bode well if your biggest name is hawking himself round Europe in the hope of securing another crack at the Champions League. I would rip the contact up and let him walk if he finds a willing suitor. It was one thing indulging the histrionics and persuading him to stay back in 2008 as he was the best player in Europe; doing the same for the 2022 version holds little appeal as it would only prolong the current circus. Thanks very much and see you later.

It was reassuring to see that ten Hag had clearly done his homework prior to taking charge at United. Within days of arrival he demonstrated huge respect for club traditions by confidently leading us into our traditional, fruitless summer transfer saga. This years target being fellow Dutchman, Frenkie de Jong. At the time of writing, United’s overtures remain very much unrequited but not to worry, we’ve only been plugging away for the last 10 weeks or so. We’ve still got another month and a half of banging our collective heads against a wall before the humiliation is complete for another year. 

In all seriousness, I expect this one will ultimately be resolved and Frenkie will indeed go to Manchester. I don’t blame the lad one bit for dragging his heels given that Barcelona reputedly owe him millions in deferred wages. Once again that shower have proven themselves to be utterly shameless in the way they conduct themselves; negotiating with United all summer whilst reneging on debts to sign new players on contracts they wont be able to honour. I reckon Lewandowski’s lawyers will be privately rubbing their hands together in preparation for everything going pear-shaped in a year or two. 

As soon as Pogba and 29 year old TikTok sensation Jesse Lingard left the club, the constant leaks we’ve become accustomed to in recent years seemed to dry up overnight. This was verified by the genial Richard Arnold in leaked footage of his pow wow with Max and Paddy of the 1958. It was just a pity that having been granted an audience with the newly incumbent CEO their line of questioning wasn’t a little more robust. Arnold’s claim that no club in the world could fund a new stadium without outside investment was a bit hollow when you consider the previous owners managed to re-build the Stretford End and then sign off on the gargantuan North Stand re-development completed in 1996. 

It would have been nice to see Arnold challenged on the reasons why the club needs to seek outside investors at all. If revenue streams weren’t being used to service the enormous debt and pay regular dividend payments to his bosses, with responsible financial management the club would still be the cash rich entity it was prior to them taking over. This might sound like an over simplification of something very complex but it isn’t really that complicated at all. Back in those days investment capital was generated organically through existing revenue streams. Transfer fees could be paid for up front and in full. There was no need for staggered payments and routinely buying players on tick like we see now.

Following the meeting I saw a number of comments along the lines of “fair play to him for sitting down and speaking candidly” as if some kind of seismic breakthrough had taken place. Unfortunately, the idea that Arnold is determined to usher in sweeping reforms is utter bollocks. People shouldn’t need reminding that he’s had his nose in the trough since 2007 and joined the board of directors in 2013. He’s just as culpable as his best mate Woodward and the Glazers themselves for overseeing the current mess in which the club finds itself. Arnold is simply doing his masters’ bidding, the fact he bought a couple of rounds and briefly paid lip service to supporters’ concerns means precisely nothing.

The fan survey sent out a couple of weeks ago is another example of the club making all the right noises whereas in reality there is no prospect of developing OT or building a new stadium. Plans were drawn up to extend the South Stand over a decade ago that would’ve taken the capacity over 90,000. Instead the ground has barely been touched since, barring extending the disabled section and a few cosmetic repairs when necessary. Personally, I’ve no interest in wider seats, fan zones, refreshed concourses and over-priced vegan food options. A modernised OT will only ever become a realistic prospect once the owners commit to paying down the current debt. Until then, any discussion is largely pointless and merely diverts attention from their continued misappropriation of the club’s finances.

Copyright Red News – July 2022

rednews.bigcartel.com