Tag Archives: premier league

There’s Nothing Like This

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I’m writing during the middle of the winter break and honestly, its arrival came as a relief given it signalled a fortnight without having to suffer watching United play football. It’s debatable whether this last 6 months has been the nadir of the post-Ferguson era, but it’s certainly up there with the regrettable Moyes experiment and the 2nd season under Van Gaal. It’s been tortuous at times, and the forward trajectory and resultant optimism of a year ago has disappeared completely. 

There are numerous mitigating factors of course, but it doesn’t alter the fact that United remain in a complete mess. Sometimes, like after the Villa home game, you look at them and think “they’re definitely behind him” and you manage to convince yourself there’ll be a concerted effort to carry that level of determination into the next game. Then 4 days later it’s Forest away and they simply don’t turn up. It’s so predictable and the same thing has been happening for years on repeat. 

Now that the transition to being INEOS-led is finally underway we can hopefully look forward to having some serious people in charge again. Poaching one of the main heads at City could be seen as a coup of sorts, but such is my complete lack of faith the immediate thought was “I bet he’s a plant” – either that or he’ll be in prison in 6 months’ time if they’re found guilty of these 115 charges. I’m being facetious of course, but it would be classic modern day United if the incumbent CEO ended up in court defending the actions of his previous employer. 

Given that splashing the cash on big money transfers is no longer an option, (such activity being one of the root causes of our current predicament), there’s little we can do except pray the changes Ratcliffe, Brailsford & Co put into practice have an immediate positive effect on the current staff. Despite haemorrhaging millions on players, the overall quality of the squad is still questionable. Senior pros aren’t performing or have a terrible attitude (more on Rashford in a bit), the few quality players we have are too old or injury prone, those possessing the right work-ethic aren’t good enough and the jury’s still out on a handful of recent arrivals. 

I’ll be convinced by Omar Berrada if we manage to go a few months without hearing rumours of Wan Bissaka’s terms being extended or that United are considering handing Scott McTominay a new deal. When is the penny going to drop that keeping mediocre players under contract doesn’t suddenly pique the interest of potential buyers? We’ve been doing this for a decade now and I don’t recall the tactic working once. Mediocre is probably harsh as this pair are good players, they just aren’t good enough if we’re expecting to compete at the top level any time soon. 

Dalot is another one who United consider a major asset despite his performances suggesting the exact opposite is the case. By all accounts he’s a good professional and he clearly tries his hardest, but are you kidding me? I’m left dumbfounded by the narrative that he’s developed over the last couple of years. He was a liability when he was shipped off to Milan on loan 4 years ago and he remains a liability now. The fact he’s found the net as opposed to Row Z on a couple of occasions recently is more a statistical anomaly than evidence of marked improvement. It’s embarrassing that the club’s social media promotes such nonsense, it’s like they’re trying to gaslight us.

The club’s financial position is so perilous that we don’t appear to be in the position to bring in our annual comedy loan signing this month. Despite losing Martial to injury and shipping that rat Sancho back to Dortmund, unless something dramatic happens at the death it looks like we’re relying on Hojlund and Rashford alone to provide goals for the rest of the season. If one or both get injured what’s the plan then? Recalling Hugill from Burton Albion would be an option (I can’t believe I’ve just typed those words) but whatever way you look at it, we’re desperately short of options. 

Although he’ll always have an army of defenders on social media, I think most normal United fans have lost it with Rashford after his “performances” over the last few months. Watching an alleged senior pro and lifelong red strop around the pitch scowling whilst turning in a series of utterly abysmal displays has done me in. I’m not sure how he had the gall to make that yapping gesture after scoring against Spurs the other week. Like a number of his peers, it’s uncertain if he’s got a clue what’s going on with his life anymore. 

How he’s turned from an excited young teenager absolutely buzzing to have scored on his PL debut to the brooding, entitled bellend we witness today encapsulates everything detestable about a growing number of modern footballers. The manner in which players so lauded and highly remunerated lose all perspective and basically start taking the piss out of their own public speaks volumes about their true character. In Rashford’s case it’s all the more embarrassing given the cringeworthy “humble kid with a heart of gold” schtick that’s pumped out by his PR team. 

In the meantime, the player is out clubbing in “the biggest dive in Belfast” according to another contributor to the mag, before phoning in sick and missing training the next morning. Despite the club briefing journalists that “everything is fine” and the  video footage was from a previous night (it wasn’t), the optics are pretty terrible here – just as they were following his comment on Instagram reacting to Sancho’s arrival at Dortmund. They can try and play down his antics all they like, but he’s been phoning it in all season and something is clearly not right with him. 

The club is facing a bit of a conundrum now because whilst Rashford appears to have decided he doesn’t fancy Ten Hag, he remains one of their biggest commercial assets and is one of the few players who’d command a large fee if they were to leave. If United decide to dispense with the manager at the end of the season (which is entirely possible irrespective of Rashford’s feelings on the subject), I’m sure he’d feel placated and everything will settle. If Ten Hag is given another season, then it’s looking increasingly likely that the club will decide to cash in this summer. Fingers crossed they go with Option B. 

Copyright Red News – February 2024

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Running on the Spot

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Looking at the current form table, you’d be forgiven for thinking that United’s season has started to turnaround in recent weeks. 4 wins from the last 5 league games is perfectly agreeable as long as you don’t dwell on the quality of opposition faced or the state of the performances. Current league form aside, the European campaign has been a complete disaster and Newcastle ensured that they’ll be no repeat of last season’s Energy Drink Cup “triumph.”

The worst performance was saved for last month’s Manchester derby – an excruciating afternoon which once again highlighted the gaping chasm that exists between ourselves and our blue brethren. Back when we reigned supreme and City were a national laughing stock they at least used to turn up for this fixture more often than not. Watching United unleash their laboured half-press against the best team in Europe led to an entirely predictable outcome. Yet again, it wasn’t the defeat that stung, it was the sheer ease of it. 

The run up to the game was dominated by the sad news of Sir Bobby Charlton’s passing. The term “legend” is bandied about so casually these days that the true meaning of the word can be diminished, but Sir Bobby was a genuine legend in the world of sport. I was lucky enough to meet him on a couple of occasions and each time found him to be a total gentleman, the opposite of the cold and brusque figure I’d heard others describe him as previously. An incredible man who lived an incredible life and who’ll never be forgotten. 

As mentioned above, the team’s performances in Europe have done nothing to dampen the sense that United are out of their depth at CL level and the Europa would present a more realistic target. (Granted, Thursday nights are a pain in the arse as would be the absence of Saturday daytime kick offs). Bayern were always going to be tough opposition but Copenhagen and Galatasaray should be canon fodder for any team likely to reach the later stages. 

Galatasaray were there for the taking at OT had the team maintained even a minimum level of composure after taking the lead – but we seem hellbent on conceding each time we score at present. The Copenhagen away game was United’s season encapsulated in 90 minutes. Only this team could be 2-0 up and coasting 5 mins before HT then contrive to get a man sent off and concede 2 goals prior to heading down the tunnel. I can’t even get mad at them as it’s just so bleakly comic. 

Thanks to a brittle defence, crap refereeing, VAR punishing us at every opportunity and some inexplicably inept goalkeeping we could be classed as fortunate to have not been knocked out already. All we need to do now is win in Turkey (no biggie with our mentality monsters) then beat Bayern at home and we should be sorted. The likelihood is, sadly, that we’ve already been rolled over in Istanbul by the time you’re reading this. 

I detest using injuries, referees or VAR as excuses but we seem utterly cursed at the moment. VAR results in at least double the amount of questionable decisions the technology was proposed to eradicate and in practice, proves no less subjective than a referee making an instant decision without back up. There’s no doubt it’s made the match day experience significantly worse and instead of highlighting goals incorrectly ruled out, seems far more focused on penalising players for minuscule offside transgressions or unavoidable handballs. 

Sadly, there’s zero chance of common sense taking hold to put an end to the madness. There’s too much invested in VAR for it to be removed and I’d argue those in charge of the game actively welcome the constant debate around the subject. The never-ending controversy drives social media engagement and that’s how these organisations measure success. If Sky didn’t have it, how on earth would they fill the 25 hours of airtime spent droning on about the subject every single week? Not to mention the fact it now merits its own dedicated programme. 

No team does seethe quite like Everton, so it was heartening to discover that United’s (probable) final visit to Goodison Park would see their perma-outraged support even more unhappy than usual – this of course, due to the PL handing them a 10 point deduction for PSR rule breaches between 2019 and 2022. Naturally, they aren’t happy with the decision at all, which has led to predictable cries of “corruption!” and plans for protest at forthcoming games. 

Whilst I can sympathise and understand Everton fans’ frustrations, I don’t think the penalty they’ve received is all that egregious. Whilst the club were reportedly transparent with the numbers posted and worked hard to find a resolution with the PL, the fact is they broke the rules and they’ve been handed an appropriate punishment. As for the PL being corrupt, I’m not convinced about that either. They aren’t corrupt, they’re just inept and incapable of controlling the cesspit of billionaires they’ve collated over the last couple of decades. 

What must rankle most from an Evertonian perspective is the fact they’ve been charged once and found guilty, whereas a certain other club have been charged 115 times yet continue to deny all culpability whilst claiming to possess reams of evidence proving their innocence. This evidence, presumably, the same as what was presented to the PL during the 4 year investigation which resulted in the 115 charges in the first place. 

Clearly, it’s easier to rule on a single charge than a total of 115, but the fallout from this isn’t going away until the PL reach a conclusion and administer some kind of justice for what appears to be multiple breaches of their own rules. It might take another couple of years of stalling tactics and further appeals, but we all know what’s coming eventually. City fans can continue to deny it whilst their Abu Dhabi paymeisters spend another billion on the greatest collection of lawyers ever assembled but it’s inevitable. I honestly cannot wait.

Copyright Red News – December 2023

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Deja vu

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United is a soap opera at the best of times, but this last month played out as if there’s a team of behind-the-scenes scriptwriters devising the scarcely credible stream of calamities occurring on an almost daily basis. It’s been absolutely relentless. So much so that you’d be forgiven for thinking the much vaunted “cultural reset” that occurred during ETH’s first year in charge was somewhat overstated. One might even go as far to suggest that it could be time for another. 

Firstly (and predictably) Mason Greenwood got shunted off to Getafe once the realisation hit that Arnold & Co weren’t going to be able to re-integrate him into the squad without causing a major PR stink. Quite how it took an internal investigation lasting several months to reach this conclusion I’ve no idea, given it was patently obvious from the moment that video started circulating he would never play for the club again. Naturally in taking an excruciatingly long time to make the decision (not to mention performing a u-turn en-route) United managed (also predictably) to score a PR own goal anyway. Absolutely brilliant work all round lads, well done. 

Greenwood’s new employers wasted no time in confirming how they would handle any potential fallout caused by their new acquisition. Now you might think given his notoriety, a carefully worded statement exuding calm and sensitivity might be in order. Nope, scrub that. Instead, their socials manager demonstrated the composure of a 15 year old boy fresh off a 48 hour Fortnite bender, amped up on Prime and Strawberry Elf Bars. “Our guy Mase” was heralded in a stream of training ground pics as they revelled in the attention and hoovered up new followers on twitter. Still, if a few thousand “Starboy” apologists have now switched allegiances to Getafe this could turn out to be a positive thing. 

During the post-mortem that followed defeat at the Emirates, it was revealed that Jadon Sancho had been omitted from the squad following sub-par performances in training that week. It comes as no surprise to learn he isn’t cutting it during practice sessions given his underwhelming contribution to the vast majority of games he’s appeared in over the last 2 years. Indeed, such is the player’s complete lack of impact at United, Ten Hag’s interview was the first time it occurred to me that he hadn’t featured that day. Normally you’d expect a player to take a public dressing down on the chin and vow to improve. Unfortunately not, as nothing emitting from the confines of Carrington can be described as normal at present. 

In his infinite wisdom, Sancho took to twitter to refute the allegations, claiming “I have been a scapegoat for a long time.” I’m not certain if this broadside was aimed solely at Ten Hag, given that he’s only the latest in a number of managers and coaches to question the player’s discipline and take umbrage at his timekeeping. One can only assume being granted a 3 month leave of absence last season to work on his fitness levels was a part of this scapegoating process as well? Poor misunderstood Jadon. 

Given this occurred at the start of the international break, Sancho had ample opportunity to sort this out quietly but you figured something was amiss when he was pictured at some event in NYC a couple of days later. Nothing was resolved at a Carrington summit meeting scheduled for the following Monday, so the club then issued a statement announcing the player would be training alone for the foreseeable, “pending resolution of a squad discipline issue.” Cool. Quite honestly, I don’t require any further updates to this story as I’ve heard enough already. See you later, sunshine – don’t let the door hit you on the way out. 

The next bombshell to drop concerned Antony and allegations of domestic abuse that first surfaced in South America a few months back. The story gained traction after a couple more women presented evidence to the media, leading to him being dropped from the Brazilian national squad. United responded by granting him an indefinite leave of absence, so in the space of 4 days we were now £150M-worth of highly erratic wingers down. Ten Hag must have felt some relief at his own baldness at this point, otherwise I’m certain he would’ve been pulling his hair out. 

Away from all the off-the-pitch shenanigans, match days have provided little respite. Numerous mitigating factors have conspired against us so far. A full blown injury crisis, key players out of form and some refereeing shockers haven’t helped, but it’s not overly critical to state that it’s been a fairly abysmal start to the season. A fortuitous win over Wolves (masking the fact that we were outplayed for long stretches) and a stirring comeback after being 0-2 down to Forest after 4 minutes  being the only highlights. Aside from that, it’s been grim viewing for the most part. 

The point has been made before, but it’s pretty clear that prioritising lucrative exhibition games and racking up thousands of air miles ahead of proper pre-season training is terrible preparation for a fresh campaign. Every opponent faced so far has looked fit, fresh and hungry whereas United have struggled to maintain focus and intensity for 90 minutes. We start brightly enough, miss a couple of sitters, concede and then capitulate completely. It’s all becoming a bit predictable. Rinse and repeat. 

I’m duty-bound to give a nod to the Glazers for their role in this mess, so shoutout to them too for ensuring new faces rock up at the last possible moment leaving no time to integrate them into the squad. The fact that a club of United’s size has to rely on loan signings at all is quite ridiculous, yet here we are again with Sergio Reguilon arriving on deadline day to go straight in as first choice left-back. Don’t even get me started on the options available at right-back, where you’ve got the equally abysmal Wan Bissaka and Dalot competing in their weekly “who’s looking the least shit to ensure selection” duel. 

There’s little doubt that once we get some players back and things settle down, results will start to improve. Unfortunately, that’s going to take some time and until then the noise surrounding the club and pressure is only going to intensify. Plugging the omnipresent leaks and driving out malignant dressing room influences remains an ongoing process and there’s no quick fix. As I’m sure the manager is quite aware by now, this is just how it is at Manchester United. Clearly, the quickest way to end this current “crisis” is to start winning football matches again. Turning this around in the next few weeks is Ten Hag’s biggest test so far. 

Copyright Red News – September 2023

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