Not Like Us

The long, frustrating slog of last season was forgotten in an instant. I’d anticipated a summer not thinking about United but instead I’ve spent weeks floating round in a contented daze, thoughts constantly cycling back to the unbridled joy that was triggered by the final whistle at Wembley. What an incredible tonic it was. Mad how something so insignificant to the majority of people can send thousands of us into a state of near delirium. It’s been a long time since we last experienced a day like that. Absolute perfection. Football, bloody hell.

The good vibes continued when it was eventually confirmed that ETH would be staying on as manager. I’m still to be convinced that he’s the right man for the job long term, but given the lack of credible alternatives and the manner of the cup win, sacking him would have been incredibly harsh. Against a backdrop of the takeover, disciplinary issues in the dressing room and a never ending injury crisis, delivering a trophy and European football was a fine achievement. Merely extending his current deal can hardly be interpreted as a vote of confidence, however – it’s more of a stay of execution.

It’s pretty grim that the manager’s future is being questioned before a ball has been kicked, but clearly the new regime isn’t messing about. Anything resembling a repeat of last season won’t be tolerated. And, quite frankly, nor should it be. Unless Ten Hag can deliver a marked improvement in both consistency and results, he’ll be lucky to last until the end of the season. United have to do better, and fresh changes to the coaching staff indicate there’s a clear pathway for someone (hello, Ruud) to step up and replace him as an interim the moment Ineos decree that enough is enough.

Nevertheless, all that is hopefully some distance off. The club were unusually proactive early in the window (another welcome change) although there’s still lots of work to do if we’re going to see anything resembling the squad overhaul that’s needed. At the moment we still look short considering Martial, Varane, Amrabat, Van de Beek, Greenwood and Kambwala have all left the club. We need at least 3 more in before the end of the window otherwise it’s difficult to see how Ten Hag has any hope of improving on last season’s position – especially given the additional Europa fixtures this year and the fact the number of injuries shows no sign of abating.

With Ten Hag citing fatigue as a factor at the end of another jaunt to the USA, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to make a case for these fixtures being in anyway helpful to preparations ahead of a new season. For the umpteenth year in a row we’re set to begin the campaign missing players through injury and with others still at various stages of recovery from the Euros/Copa America. Flying 5,000 miles around the globe to play some meaningless friendlies might be commercially astute, but it seems detrimental to the squad’s conditioning if there are multiple casualties to contend with by the time the tour has concluded.

Obviously, such concerns didn’t stop me booking flights as soon as Los Angeles was announced. I’d never visited the West Coast before and this seemed like as good an opportunity as any. LA is absolutely massive and unlike when visiting NYC, the public transport links are bafflingly insubstantial. If you aren’t hiring a car then Uber is a must when travelling late at night if you don’t fancy taking your chances on the Metro, where you’re highly likely to encounter some of the city’s more eccentric inhabitants.

As for what it’s actually like, well it’s a culture shock. I stayed in Santa Monica on the coast and you quickly realise that whilst the streets feel very safe, there’s a not-insignificant homeless population – many of whom are in the throes of fentanyl addiction which makes their actions unpredictable to say the least. You just have to accept that amidst all the boutique shops, Michelin-starred restaurants and miles of golden beaches you’re highly likely to stumble across a sizeable number of people with their entire earthly possessions in a shopping trolley… and they might decide to stop and drop their kecks at any moment.

I got chatting to an Irish ex-pat who has been out there for 25 years and we were discussing the contrast to living over here. He said the year-round sunshine never got old and that his life consisted of regular, ‘pinch me’, LA moments. I think the most LA thing I experienced was whilst walking through Palisades Park on a Friday afternoon. You had a group of a dozen or so well-to-do women striking Yoga poses and there was a bloke with a massage table enthusiastically offering his services to anyone passing. Meanwhile, just a few feet away you had a couple of homeless guys arguing over the contents of a bin. It was quite a scene. Talk about opposite ends of the California lifestyle happily co-existing.

The United game was being played at the SoFi in Inglewood, an outrageously opulent $5.5 billion NFL stadium that opened its doors in 2020. It’s absolutely incredible, both the architecture and the facilities – little wonder it’s being cited as one of the inspirations behind the decision to build Old Trafford 2.0 as opposed to developing what we have now. Although it’s hugely impressive, I’ll still be disappointed if United commit to such a move in the coming months. Yes, it’s shiny and new and looks great on the photographs but ultimately it’s just a high-end, soulless Enormodome. I certainly wouldn’t want to play there every week.

I’m not just being contrary for the sake of it, but undertaking a project like that would be a disaster in my eyes. Any new stadium would arrive years late, hugely over budget and bearing no resemblance to the place we’ve considered home for decades. I know the YouTube lads are ecstatic at the prospect, but I’m more concerned with United remaining accessible to my friends and I as we hurtle through middle age. Make no bones about it, if we go down this road expect your ST renewal to come in at a couple of grand minimum. I don’t want a 200% increase in ticket prices for the sake of a padded seat and a cup holder. That isn’t scaremongering or shortsightedness, it’s simply the reality of what will happen.

Everything we’ve grown up with would quickly be eroded. Some will cling on because they can still just about afford it, but the bulk of our core support will be sacrificed in the name of progress. We’re going to be told a lot of lies in the coming months when the decision is inevitably greenlit, about how it’s necessary for the club to be competitive and sign the best players and all that nonsense… please don’t buy into it. One of the main drivers behind this is that it will accelerate a purging of our traditional fanbase so they can milk additional millions from an entirely different breed of MUFC supporter. Ineos might appear preferable the Glazers, but their motivation for being here is ultimately the same.

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