Author Archives: carlosartorial

Deja vu

United is a soap opera at the best of times, but this last month played out as if there’s a team of behind-the-scenes scriptwriters devising the scarcely credible stream of calamities occurring on an almost daily basis. It’s been absolutely relentless. So much so that you’d be forgiven for thinking the much vaunted “cultural reset” that occurred during ETH’s first year in charge was somewhat overstated. One might even go as far to suggest that it could be time for another. 

Firstly (and predictably) Mason Greenwood got shunted off to Getafe once the realisation hit that Arnold & Co weren’t going to be able to re-integrate him into the squad without causing a major PR stink. Quite how it took an internal investigation lasting several months to reach this conclusion I’ve no idea, given it was patently obvious from the moment that video started circulating he would never play for the club again. Naturally in taking an excruciatingly long time to make the decision (not to mention performing a u-turn en-route) United managed (also predictably) to score a PR own goal anyway. Absolutely brilliant work all round lads, well done. 

Greenwood’s new employers wasted no time in confirming how they would handle any potential fallout caused by their new acquisition. Now you might think given his notoriety, a carefully worded statement exuding calm and sensitivity might be in order. Nope, scrub that. Instead, their socials manager demonstrated the composure of a 15 year old boy fresh off a 48 hour Fortnite bender, amped up on Prime and Strawberry Elf Bars. “Our guy Mase” was heralded in a stream of training ground pics as they revelled in the attention and hoovered up new followers on twitter. Still, if a few thousand “Starboy” apologists have now switched allegiances to Getafe this could turn out to be a positive thing. 

During the post-mortem that followed defeat at the Emirates, it was revealed that Jadon Sancho had been omitted from the squad following sub-par performances in training that week. It comes as no surprise to learn he isn’t cutting it during practice sessions given his underwhelming contribution to the vast majority of games he’s appeared in over the last 2 years. Indeed, such is the player’s complete lack of impact at United, Ten Hag’s interview was the first time it occurred to me that he hadn’t featured that day. Normally you’d expect a player to take a public dressing down on the chin and vow to improve. Unfortunately not, as nothing emitting from the confines of Carrington can be described as normal at present. 

In his infinite wisdom, Sancho took to twitter to refute the allegations, claiming “I have been a scapegoat for a long time.” I’m not certain if this broadside was aimed solely at Ten Hag, given that he’s only the latest in a number of managers and coaches to question the player’s discipline and take umbrage at his timekeeping. One can only assume being granted a 3 month leave of absence last season to work on his fitness levels was a part of this scapegoating process as well? Poor misunderstood Jadon. 

Given this occurred at the start of the international break, Sancho had ample opportunity to sort this out quietly but you figured something was amiss when he was pictured at some event in NYC a couple of days later. Nothing was resolved at a Carrington summit meeting scheduled for the following Monday, so the club then issued a statement announcing the player would be training alone for the foreseeable, “pending resolution of a squad discipline issue.” Cool. Quite honestly, I don’t require any further updates to this story as I’ve heard enough already. See you later, sunshine – don’t let the door hit you on the way out. 

The next bombshell to drop concerned Antony and allegations of domestic abuse that first surfaced in South America a few months back. The story gained traction after a couple more women presented evidence to the media, leading to him being dropped from the Brazilian national squad. United responded by granting him an indefinite leave of absence, so in the space of 4 days we were now £150M-worth of highly erratic wingers down. Ten Hag must have felt some relief at his own baldness at this point, otherwise I’m certain he would’ve been pulling his hair out. 

Away from all the off-the-pitch shenanigans, match days have provided little respite. Numerous mitigating factors have conspired against us so far. A full blown injury crisis, key players out of form and some refereeing shockers haven’t helped, but it’s not overly critical to state that it’s been a fairly abysmal start to the season. A fortuitous win over Wolves (masking the fact that we were outplayed for long stretches) and a stirring comeback after being 0-2 down to Forest after 4 minutes  being the only highlights. Aside from that, it’s been grim viewing for the most part. 

The point has been made before, but it’s pretty clear that prioritising lucrative exhibition games and racking up thousands of air miles ahead of proper pre-season training is terrible preparation for a fresh campaign. Every opponent faced so far has looked fit, fresh and hungry whereas United have struggled to maintain focus and intensity for 90 minutes. We start brightly enough, miss a couple of sitters, concede and then capitulate completely. It’s all becoming a bit predictable. Rinse and repeat. 

I’m duty-bound to give a nod to the Glazers for their role in this mess, so shoutout to them too for ensuring new faces rock up at the last possible moment leaving no time to integrate them into the squad. The fact that a club of United’s size has to rely on loan signings at all is quite ridiculous, yet here we are again with Sergio Reguilon arriving on deadline day to go straight in as first choice left-back. Don’t even get me started on the options available at right-back, where you’ve got the equally abysmal Wan Bissaka and Dalot competing in their weekly “who’s looking the least shit to ensure selection” duel. 

There’s little doubt that once we get some players back and things settle down, results will start to improve. Unfortunately, that’s going to take some time and until then the noise surrounding the club and pressure is only going to intensify. Plugging the omnipresent leaks and driving out malignant dressing room influences remains an ongoing process and there’s no quick fix. As I’m sure the manager is quite aware by now, this is just how it is at Manchester United. Clearly, the quickest way to end this current “crisis” is to start winning football matches again. Turning this around in the next few weeks is Ten Hag’s biggest test so far. 

Copyright Red News – September 2023

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How Was It For You?

Having dreaded it for years, City winning the European Cup and completing the treble didn’t turn out to be the end of days scenario I’d anticipated. Like the FA Cup final that preceded it, I can’t say I enjoyed it much and it’s not something l’d like to repeat, but a week-long news blackout ensured I missed the worst and it was easy enough to swerve the blues I encounter going about my daily business. If anything, at least I’ll never again experience on that January-onwards fear that this might be their year and spend the next 4 months willing them to fuck it up. It’s happened now, it’s done. Nothing that bad can ever happen again, at least until next May. 

I can’t be alone in thinking that the expected barrage of media coverage was a tad muted compared to when United completed the same feat back in ‘99. I’m not trying to belittle their achievement or claim some sort of moral victory, it’s genuinely how I perceived it. Whether they care to admit to it or not, there was a palpable indifference from the wider football community probably because… well, to put it extremely politely, some of some of the methods used in attaining their current level of footballing immortality have been somewhat questionable. To borrow a couple of cliches, whilst their success proves that cheats do prosper, it also appears true that you can’t fool all of the people all of the time. 

Closer to home, the shortened summer break has seen all eyes focused on the club’s continued attempts at piecing together a squad capable of usurping our blue brethren and challenging them for the title. It’s an exhaustive process fraught with difficulty at the best of times, made even more difficult this time out by FFP requirements and the lack of financial certainty due to the ongoing takeover. At least the objectives were clear enough, we needed a goalkeeper, a striker and midfield options minimum. 



After a slow start during which the club’s media team had nothing to report whatsoever for a few weeks… ok lads, we get there’s a new kit, you might have mentioned it several hundred times… De Gea was the first to make a move when he announced he was leaving. No complaints here as his departure was long-overdue, but you have to say the manner in which it was handled wasn’t the best. For a club obsessed with social media optics, it’s not the best of looks when a player with 500-odd appearances departs having had a long-standing contract offer withdrawn. I suppose we should just be thankful that common sense is back in the building because I don’t think I could’ve handled watching his attempts at playing out from the back for another 3 years. 

I’ve seen nothing of his replacement previously but going off several YouTube clips floating about, Onana looks to be the complete opposite of his predecessor. Having watched a keeper rooted to his goal line for the last dozen or so years, it looks like the Cameroonian is a full-on Barthez-esque lunatic with a penchant for sprinting out to the halfway line at regular intervals. Honestly? This new development probably won’t end well but I’m trying to focus on the positives for now. He can’t be any more detrimental to the team’s progress than De Gea was throughout the duration of last season. 

As usual, the ridiculous wages offered by United mean we struggle to offload faces deemed surplus to requirements. Ideally, the likes of Fred, Martial, McTominay and Maguire should have been moved on by now, but it’s difficult to achieve this when they’re earning double what anyone else is prepared to pay them. On a positive note, it’s an encouraging sign that the manager can at least see where upgrades are needed if we’re going to compete at the very top level again. As things stand, all remain up for sale and a couple might be shifted by the end of the window if we’re lucky.

The Mason Mount signing was a strange one in that I figured it might signal game over for Sancho, but it looks like we’re persisting there for another year at least. Presumably Mount has been bought to play deeper than he has done previously because his natural position is Bruno’s domain. We need more discipline in there to counteract Bruno’s waywardness and Mount has never stood out as that sort of player to me. I’d argue we’ve overpaid for a position we already had covered and we’re still short of a quality holding midfielder to complement Casemiro and improve on the consistency Fred and McTominay offer. 

As regards a striker, the obvious preferred choice was Kane but that was always unlikely given the numbers involved – though there’s still a part of me thinking United could be biding their time for a surprise move as the end of the window draws nearer. Let’s face it, he doesn’t strike me as the kind of bloke who’d be entirely comfortable living abroad and I’m convinced Manchester would be his preferred destination if it were entirely up to him. Hojlund is exactly the profile of player the club should be looking to sign but it’s a huge ask for him to come in, settle and adapt to English football whilst taking on the main goalscoring burden at such a young age. 

All doubts aside, it’s nice to see the club operating with a degree of efficiency again as opposed to the haphazard nature of our transfer dealings in recent years. We’re still overpaying for players but that’s not surprising since we’ve become notorious for doing precisely that. Selling clubs can probably sense the desperation. Despite certain improvements, United remain hamstrung by the Glazer ownership model and will continue to struggle as long as they have a stranglehold over the club’s finances. 

Whilst I’m not surprised the potential sale is dragging on as long as it has – the assumption it would be boxed off in a period of weeks was always wide of the mark – I’m genuinely mystified as to why we’re still awaiting a decision on the future of Mason Greenwood. To me it’s an absolute no brainer what should happen and anything other than moving him on would be absolutely catastrophic in PR terms. It honestly defies belief that the club haven’t already reached this conclusion, but the longer it drags on I fear they’re going to do something really stupid and offer him the opportunity to resurrect his career at OT. 

I understand that although his current value is diminished, Greenwood remains an asset who is potentially worth a lot of money. As a consequence, the club might be unwilling to write this off knowing his value could increase dramatically if he moves elsewhere and scores a load of goals. Honestly though, I couldn’t care less if that happens because his future shouldn’t be at Manchester United. His army of supporters on twitter will be up in arms at the mere suggestion, but some things are bigger than football and the club should send out a message about what it considers acceptable conduct for United players. They need to do the right thing here, despite the possibility of losing out financially.

Copyright Red News – August 2023

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Oranges & Lemons

Back in August when all pre-season optimism was obliterated at Brentford, I doubt even the most optimistic United fan would have predicted one trophy already in the bag and another up for grabs as the season draws to a close. Whatever happens from now until the start of June, what we’ve witnessed has exceeded pretty much all expectations. Regardless of horror shows served up at the Etihad, Anfield and most recently in Seville, we’ve comfortably avoided the never-ending shitshow of the last few campaigns. The players at least look bothered again and honestly, that will do for me given the state we were in 12 months ago. 

Setbacks remain fairly commonplace but what’s different now is the response to these. This time last year the team looked to be actively seeking reasons to down tools, and that’s if they even bothered to turn up in the first place. You can’t fault the effort being put in and certain players have helped re-establish a bond between players and supporters. Personally speaking, rather than wishing death on them as a group, it turns out that some of them are actually quite likeable. This feels like a major turning point, and I suppose indicative of how low the bar had fallen at the end of last season. 

As far as setbacks go, one I didn’t foresee was that last 10 minutes at home to Sevilla. 2-0 up and cruising then all of a sudden we’d managed to concede 2 and both starting centre backs were lost to injury. What looked like a relatively simple task in the away leg became a huge test, plus we’re now reliant on Lindelof and Maguire for the remainder of the season. The absence of Martinez is arguably a bigger blow than losing Casemiro or Fernandes for any length of time given how he’s come to influence how United function in both defence and attack. It’s a huge miss and the only positive is that the diagnosis wasn’t more severe than what was originally feared. 

The spotlight now is fixed squarely on Maguire again. I’ve been a staunch defender of him over the last few months amidst the utterly moronic pile-on that occurs every time he’s mentioned on social-media. That said, moments like that first goal in Seville make me realise I’ve attempted to defend the indefensible in his case. Some players have big enough shoulders to move on from career slumps whereas others simply crumble. I’m not going to add to the chorus of ridicule but Maguire looks completely shot now. It’s the same thing that happened to Phil Jones, it doesn’t matter what he does at this stage because he’s basically become a living, breathing meme. 


De Gea is another one who needs shipping out sooner rather than later. If he does stay, it’ll be only be indicative of the club’s perilous financial footing and our unwillingness to spend on a replacement. Any other rival club wouldn’t think twice in our situation. If a new keeper isn’t currently high up the list of priorities this summer, then I’d argue it should be. He was equally culpable for that first goal in Spain and just like in his early days at the club, opponents now routinely target him given his reluctance to leave his line and inability to command the penalty area. 

Ten Hag needs to shoulder some of the blame regarding the Europa exit as it was spectacularly naive persisting with playing out from the back given the personnel at his disposal. We all know that De Gea is limited with the ball at his feet but this is mitigated when he’s got Martinez and Varane in front of him. Maguire and Lindelof just aren’t able to offer the same level of composure so we were always going to struggle against a backdrop of 40,000 hyperactive Spaniards. He must have clocked this since De Gea was back in “if in doubt, launch it” mode for the Brighton semi-final a few days later. 

Looking towards the summer, I expect much depends on whether or not the takeover occurs in the coming weeks. There’s been a lot said about the process dragging on to a 3rd round of bids but is anyone really surprised? Any sale was always going to take months and I wouldn’t be surprised if we’re still in this situation going into next season. It’s not like signing a player where everything can be boxed off within a few hours. The Glazers have been in this for the money since 2005 so it was only to be expected they’d attempt to rinse as high an offer as possible out of any prospective bidder. It’ll take as long as it takes and I doubt I’ll be happy with the outcome in any case. 


I suppose we should address the likelihood of the unthinkable happening in just a few weeks. There’ve been a couple of close shaves in recent years but the manner in which City have moved insidiously closer to the treble this season is starting to cause major heartburn. I’ve tried to block it out for the most part feeling confident that Arsenal were looking comfortable at the top of the table, optimistic that their widely predicted capitulation might not happen. Except then it did. Unfortunately the wheels look have well and truly fallen off that particular bandwagon now. 

Unbelievably, it seems a large number of United’s online following are quite comfortable with the prospect of Armageddon fast approaching. Apparently Arsenal imploding would be a far more desirable outcome given the comedy potential in witnessing the meltdown of their fancam lot. Yeah, let’s forget the decades-long local rivalry, 100+ charges of financial irregularities, the sportswashing, the fact that CITY MIGHT WIN THE TREBLE when you can have a good old LOL at half a dozen helmets famous for screeching performative nonsense into a video camera. 

Given that Arsenal appear hellbent on bottling it, realistically it’s only us or Real Madrid who can stop them at this point. Given what’s at stake, the forthcoming FA Cup final promises to be some day. I’m not going to stoop so low as to name and shame the member of our WhatsApp group who claimed pre-match “it would be a relief to get beat by Brighton” to avoid the prospect of facing City at Wembley. This is no time for negativity despite the potential doomsday situation ahead of us. It’s a full-on death or glory scenario now, it will either be one of the greatest days ever or one of the worst. Que sera, sera. 

Copyright Red News – May 2023

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