Category Archives: Football

The Believers

jonny evans

‘The busy, festive period’ (sic) done then, and despite a couple of disappointing results, United now look a sure-fire bet for a top four finish and are still hanging onto the coat-tails of the league leaders. Although we’ve started winning games whilst not playing particularly well, we haven’t yet demonstrated an ability to snaffle late goals that tends to be the hallmark of title contenders. In truth, it’s the first month of the season that’ll cost us this season. Whilst making up 9 points on City or Chelsea is still a remote possibility, it remains very unlikely that both will slip up with such a commanding lead.

Still, stranger things have happened. In January 1996 we were 7 points behind Newcastle having played a game more and nobody beyond the toppest of top reds gave us a cat in hell’s chance of getting anywhere near them. Yet, of course, that season United ended up winning the double with a far less developed squad of players than what we possess now. I dunno, maybe I’m totally deluded or simply in denial, but I just sense that this season isn’t quite the foregone conclusion that most people assume it is. If we can get to the stage where we’re within 6 points of the top with 10 games to go, then it’ll still be very much ON.

The next 7 league games are Southampton, QPR, Leicester, West Ham, Burnley, Swansea and Sunderland. If we can get through them with near maximum points then those draws at Spurs and Stoke might start to look like decent away points rather than missed opportunities. I know this is all very unlikely, but I’m firmly of the belief that we’ve made great progress so far and will continue to do so. This season was all about rebuilding and getting back to something like normality after the debacle of Moyes’ tenure. Although it’s still a work-in-progress, it’s happening. Van Gaal is sorting it.

As I touched on last issue, the main thing United are crying out for at present is an established defensive leader. Now I’ve always had time for Jonny Evans, back in the days he first came into the side I thought he looked a terrific prospect who possessed all the tools required to become a top class centre half. It’s probably a bit harsh judging him on an afternoon in Stoke up against a force 10 gale and Peter Crouch, but it was during that game the realisation dawned that I’ve lost faith in him ever becoming a genuine top-level player.

stoke-city-supporters

Stoke, it must be said, were characteristically horrific all afternoon. This lot absolutely detest United for reasons known only to themselves, so Mark Hughes, once so beloved of this parish yet latterly, the bitterest man on the planet, is absolutely perfect for them. They must be the only club in the country where the locals turn up each week to cheer the wind, which of course enables their unique brand of ‘launch it into the box at every given opportunity’ football whilst half a dozen 6’5″ blokes attempt to rugby-tackle the goalkeeper. Their ‘style’ of play is absolute dog sick, but completely predictable given they’ve been doing exactly the same thing week in, week out since however long it is they gained promotion.

As a defender, it can’t be much fun facing this kind of onslaught, but that is what Stoke do – you simply have to deal with them. Instead, Jonny Evans spent the entire afternoon with the haunted look of a junior police constable dealing with the aftermath of a serious road traffic accident. Maybe I’m being too harsh singling him out, but as United’s longest-serving, senior defender I expected more from him this season – instead he looks off the pace and still prone to regular lapses in concentration. That said, having Phil Jones blundering about the place next to you like an over-enthusiastic Doberman would probably distract Franco Baresi too.

Whilst I’m writing this, the 3rd round of the FA Cup is underway and what a weekend of drama, romance and intrigue it’s proving to be. Brighton are beating Brentford 2-0, Doncaster are drawing 1-1 with Bristol City and Derby have scored a last minute penalty to take the lead against Southport. Geoff, Merse and Thomo aboard the Sky Sports banter bus can barely contain themselves! United, meanwhile, are off to Yeovil tomorrow in an attempt to avoid humiliation and, I suppose, kick off a march to Wembley in a competition which sadly represents our best chance of silverware this season.

You might be one of those people who really fancies a crack at the FA Cup, given the likelihood that we won’t be winning anything else and it’s now 10 years since we last picked it up… but if I’m being totally honest, I’m really not arsed. The FA Cup as it was once known and loved is now dead, it’s as redundant as every tired cliche that’ll be uttered this weekend. Progress in the competition presents little reward unless you’re one of the lucky few ground spotters or never miss a game completists fortunate to have grabbed a ticket for Yeovil (a place we’re unlikely to ever visit again) tomorrow.

yeovil-fans-1

Visits to these football outposts no longer present the opportunity for an old-skool red army invasion, you get a couple of thousand tickets at best and in truth, plenty wouldn’t bother anyway given it’s a million miles away and on a Sunday afternoon. If we get through and ultimately reach the semis/final, more visits to Wembley are the prizes. Great. That shiny, overpriced, atmosphere-free cess pit of nu-football greed and corporate hospitality. Despite having many great memories of the place prior to its demolition, I now feel nothing but resentment each time I’m obliged to step foot in the place.

Yep, I know it’s curmudgeon-like but I really couldn’t care less if we progress in the FA Cup or not. Most teams (barring those having their once-in-a-lifetime, big day out) will be resting players, attendances will be down and most managers justifiably have one eye on the next league game as their main priority. Meanwhile, commentators and ex-players nationwide will continue to do their best to try and preserve the status of something that ceased having any genuine relevance years ago… apart from that time Wigan beat City, obviously.

Finally, a quick word on the big news that Steven Gerrard has announced he’ll be leaving Liverpool at the end of the current campaign. A note of caution though, particularly to Tufty & Co at SEF before they embark on a hilarious banner highlighting his chronic lack of league titles in comparison to our current assistant manager. Given that Gerrard has just announced his future career lies in the MLS, presumably this means he’ll be turning out for City next season…

Copyright Red News – January 2015

www.rednews.co.uk

State of the Nation

sladexmas

As well as saving me a considerable sum of money, the lack of Champions League football appears to have had the effect of making the season progress remarkably quickly. Perhaps it’s just my addled brain, but it only feels like 5 minutes since Van Gaal arrived, doesn’t it? However, a glance at the calendar and the annual onslaught of Slade and Jona Lewie over the airwaves provide confirmation that we’re already in mid-December.

Despite complaining of Champions League fatigue in previous years, when the group stages resembled a mind-numbing series of easy hurdles before inevitable progression to the knock-out stages, it’s (unsurprisingly) proven a big loss this season. For a start, trying to bed in new players and a new formation would have proven a less fraught process with our usual, congested fixture schedule. Instead we’ve endured lengthy gaps in-between games after getting turfed out of the League Cup early doors and ever present menace of international football.

Secondly, something that I hadn’t previously anticipated, I’ve missed routinely turning up at Old Trafford on cold, dark November nights. Indeed, Stoke the other week was the first home game of the season under floodlights. Despite it often feeling like a pain in the arse when I’m knackered after work and the weather is crap, there’s a familiarity to that midweek routine that’s been absent this season. I meet my mates for a couple of pints in town, we jump a cab to the ground, then pay minimal attention to the actual match and instead argue/abuse each other and generally put the world to rights for 90 minutes.

It’s doesn’t feel right watching City or Liverpool on telly when United should be playing, so I’ve studiously avoided every single minute of the Champions League this season. I was delighted to hear Ronaldo downed Liverpool and equally amused that City have struggled thus far, but I can’t bring myself to actually watch them. Having spent years telling City fans that European football was “none of their business”, it’s only fair that I impose a similar mandate on myself whilst United are marooned in the European football wilderness. I’ll start watching again when they’re both knocked out, which will hopefully be very soon.

Given the wholesale changes that were made in the summer and an appalling run of injuries since then, it’s no surprise that it’s taken a bit longer than anticipated to see a settled team that is beginning to look comfortable with Van Gaal’s oft-mentioned ‘philosophy’. I’d argue that the biggest difference over the last few weeks has been the return of Michael Carrick, that and finally experiencing a bit of good fortune in a season where we’ve been on the receiving end of some ridiculous decisions against us.

chris smalling

After a terrible August which extinguished any lingering pre-season optimism, since then our form hasn’t been all that bad if you can overlook Chris Smalling’s brainstorm and the resultant non-performance at Eastlands. There’s not been very much to get excited about, but players are slowly starting to look more comfortable with the new system and their roles within it. As I said, crucially, we’ve also had to contend with the worst injury record in the league and some awful refereeing. I hate resorting to moaning about refs, it’s the hallmark of a loser – but Martin Atkinson failing to spot a blatant penalty at Sunderland and then at Leicester, Mark Clattenburg choosing to disregard Varney’s foul on Rafael and then milliseconds later, giving a pen for minimal contact, were both absolute shockers.

The Arsenal game could potentially be seen as a turning point – the first big league game won in over a year as we were finally the recipients of some good fortune. An awful 1st half featuring three teenagers in defence, Shaw (this is getting ridiculous now) injured after a quarter of an hour and United being completely outplayed. Then we are gifted a flukey own goal, Rooney scores on the counter attack and all of a sudden, we’ve somehow come away with an unexpected victory.

Factor in a handful of unspectacular home wins and United, whisper it, appear to have discovered something resembling a run of form. I’m typing these words with extreme caution because after a similarly mixed bag of results at the start of last season, we recorded 4 successive league wins last December before everything went very pear-shaped against Spurs on New Year’s Day. Still, I can’t help myself studying the league table and thinking, “hmmmm, can we?” Chelsea have at last faltered, so a win at Southampton on Monday will put us in 3rd, 8 points behind them. Winning the league won’t happen, clearly… but I haven’t quite reached the stage where I can fully admit that to myself yet.

As long as we can stay within 10 points or so, I reckon I can maintain this level of delusion/optimism until at least March. Then as we lose a couple more games and Chelsea/City win the league, we’ll only have to endure a disappointing end to the season with nothing to play for, as opposed to a 6 month period watching them disappear into the distance now. There can’t be any repeat of last season where everything unravelled to the extent the team gave up and couldn’t be arsed in the end. Even if we don’t win it, let’s at least finish 3rd (which should be a minimum aim given the absolute state of the rest of the league), continue our much improved home form and get ourselves sorted in preparation for a proper title challenge next season.

garycahill

In the meantime, if you’re stuck for gift ideas this Christmas, join me in wishing for a centre half so we can solve that particular problem before it becomes a running joke on a par with our 5 year wait for a decent midfielder. It took all of 3 weeks before Evans, Jones and Smalling were missing in action, so I’ve now abandoned hope that any of them will manage to play 5 games in succession without succumbing to to a broken leg or a bad case of impetigo. We desperately need someone, anyone in fact, capable of heading a football, tackling a bit and not being injured. The potential candidate’s ability to speak Spanish would be welcome but is not essential.

I don’t watch enough football to know who the player is, but there must be somebody out there. I never rated Gary Cahill when he was at Bolton, but someone like him would be perfect. He only cost Chelsea £7M but he’s barely missed a game in the last 3 years. A proper old fashioned stopper who wins headers, makes tackles, lumps it into touch and goes up for corners to score the odd goal. How hard can it be? Don’t talk to me about Mats Hummels. Dortmund are a spent force, he’ll cost an absolute fortune and he’s always injured. Find us the next Gary Cahill, Louis.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Copyright Red News – December 2014

www.rednews.co.uk

Tell It Like It Is

prawn sandwich

Whilst the esteemed editor of this organ donned his #5 cap to mix it up with the D-list shitterati at Rio Ferdinand’s book launch (see last month’s issue), I was handed the task of reporting back from Roy Keane’s gig at LCCC where he was appearing ‘in conversation’ with ghostwriter Roddy Doyle and Jim White of The Telegraph to promote his latest opus, The Second Half (Orion Publishing, £20).

The last one of these things I attended was Fergie’s appearance at The Lowry a year ago where he was publicising his recently released autobiography. This promised to be a similar setup – a free signed copy of the book was on offer alongside the possibility of picking up some interesting tidbits that hadn’t previously been made public. Unfortunately that night at the Lowry didn’t really deviate from the carefully managed script, as Fergie didn’t let his guard drop once under a very gentle grilling from the BBC’s Dan Walker. An evening with Roy Keane, I was pleased to discover, proved to be far more interesting and enlightening.

Shortly after the publicised start time of 7pm, there he was. Looking as trim as he did in his playing days, with no discernible middle-aged paunch and remarkably fresh faced since the terrifying beard he’d been sporting in recent months had been removed. Jim White then did the introductions, throwing in the somewhat outlandish claim that Keane and Doyle were the authors of “not only the finest football book, but the finest book you’ll read this year.”

White then proceeded to ask the first question, “what was your motive for writing the book?”, which in truth was his last meaningful input all evening as Keane needed little encouragement to talk….and talk and talk. He’s passionate, forthright and a great storyteller – one was left with the impression that Roddy Doyle’s task of transcribing Keane’s thoughts into written form was fairly straightforward one, given the fact he’s such a relaxed and candid interviewee.

The reason the book was so newsworthy, of course, was that it presented Keane with the opportunity to give a full and frank account of the events leading up to his departure from United. As anticipated, he doesn’t shy away from giving his version of the facts. There were disagreements with Carlos Queiroz along the way, but things came to a head with the infamous, never aired MUTV interview and the subsequent ‘airing of the grievances’ meeting with the entire first team squad and coaching staff in attendance. Keane (sort of) accepts that he played a part in his own downfall, his main beef is that “stuff said afterwards irritated me” and his belief that Ferguson and David Gill “should have done better by me.”

If Keane is bitter about anything, it’s about the way he was portrayed as a single-minded, loose cannon who needed reining in. If he was so unprofessional and unapproachable, he argues, how could he have survived at a club like United for over 12 years? “Yes, there were personality clashes like in any workplace, but it was no big deal.” It’s hard not to have sympathy with his reasoning here. United/Ferguson, after all, were the beneficiaries of Keane’s insane-level drive and will-to-win for many years. Put it this way: I very much doubt he’d have seen his contract terminated if the post-Boro blow-up had happened a few years earlier when he was in his prime as a player, and not the battle scarred veteran he’d become by 2005.

In spite of the acrimonious ending to his United career, Keane spoke very fondly about his time at the club and still has a lot of respect for Ferguson, describing him as a “great manager”. He clearly has a lot of time for his former teammates, “top quality players”, sharing a dressing room ethos where “there was no messing about… we wanted to win the match and to train properly”. Understated, perhaps… but from the mouth of Roy Keane, this is high praise indeed.

roy keane roddy doyle

Keane conceded that he made numerous mistakes during his time at the club, admitting when he first arrived in Manchester he was anything but the über-serious professional he was renowned as later in his career. He recalled a big fall out with Brian Kidd in the days between winning the league at Middlesborough and the ’96 Cup Final, partaking in a week-long bender which resulted in him reporting for training each morning still suffering the effects of the night before. Then, after being named MOTM on the Saturday, greeting a disbelieving Kiddo at the bar during the post match celebrations whilst getting stuck into the Bacardi.

There are regrets too, particularly some of the things he said in the heat of the moment. “Maybe this team needs to be broken up” post-Bayern in 2001 was, on reflection, a misguided attempt to elicit a response from the team following another disappointing defeat. The ‘prawn sandwich’ comment too, a dig against United fans that was manna from heaven for the ABU nation was merely him sounding off, “looking for an angle, to get a response off people… trying to get Old Trafford rocking.”

After an hour of listening to Keane, and a few minutes worth of Roddy Doyle who described his reasons for getting involved and the process of writing the book, the microphone was then passed to the floor as the audience were invited to ask questions. This led to another hour of recollections as Keane (now fully warmed up) answered everything thrown at him with complete candour and a total disregard for the fact there were a few hundred people present.

Some of his comments led to a couple of news stories later in the week after details reached journalists’ hands, but in truth nothing was said that was particularly inflammatory when taken in context. There were a slight digs at Bryan Robson and Paddy Crerand, as Keane made the point that club employees don’t make the most unbiased of pundits – he jokingly described the MUTV ex-players cabal as “like the Mafia or something.”

Another question led to a telling insight to how United approached games under Ferguson, or more to the point, how we didn’t approach them. “We wouldn’t be analysing teams too much. That was one of our strengths… we kept it unbelievably simple.” He only recalled Fergie getting senior players together for a pre-match meeting on a handful of occasions. Once, when the subject of dealing with the specific threat of Steve McManaman arose, Keane’s surprise and confusion about even being asked for his input was priceless, “umm… we’ll deal with him… he’s not Pele!”

All in all it was a great night. Keane was on top form and anything but the scowling, embittered figure he’s often portrayed as in the media. The book itself? Even if it’s not, as Jim White claims, the finest thing you’ll read this year, it’s still worth a couple of hours of your time ploughing through it. The motivation behind doing it, he explained, was simply “giving my opinion”, rather than “slagging everybody off” as has been claimed.

That’s essentially the crux of Roy Keane – it’s what made him a great leader on the pitch, and latterly, great value as a studio pundit. If someone asks him a question, he will answer it. Truthfully. Football is full of anodyne, media trained monkeys trotting out bland platitudes which you just know don’t truly reflect their private thoughts. Keane is different in that he actually says what he thinks. There’s no agenda there, everything he says is packed with truthiness. You don’t agree with him? That’s no problem, you’re entitled to your opinion too.

Copyright Red News – November 2014

www.rednews.co.uk