ineos | carlosartorial

The long, frustrating slog of last season was forgotten in an instant. I’d anticipated a summer not thinking about United but instead I’ve spent weeks floating round in a contented daze, thoughts constantly cycling back to the unbridled joy that was triggered by the final whistle at Wembley. What an incredible tonic it was. Mad how something so insignificant to the majority of people can send thousands of us into a state of near delirium. It’s been a long time since we last experienced a day like that. Absolute perfection. Football, bloody hell.

The good vibes continued when it was eventually confirmed that ETH would be staying on as manager. I’m still to be convinced that he’s the right man for the job long term, but given the lack of credible alternatives and the manner of the cup win, sacking him would have been incredibly harsh. Against a backdrop of the takeover, disciplinary issues in the dressing room and a never ending injury crisis, delivering a trophy and European football was a fine achievement. Merely extending his current deal can hardly be interpreted as a vote of confidence, however – it’s more of a stay of execution.

It’s pretty grim that the manager’s future is being questioned before a ball has been kicked, but clearly the new regime isn’t messing about. Anything resembling a repeat of last season won’t be tolerated. And, quite frankly, nor should it be. Unless Ten Hag can deliver a marked improvement in both consistency and results, he’ll be lucky to last until the end of the season. United have to do better, and fresh changes to the coaching staff indicate there’s a clear pathway for someone (hello, Ruud) to step up and replace him as an interim the moment Ineos decree that enough is enough.

Nevertheless, all that is hopefully some distance off. The club were unusually proactive early in the window (another welcome change) although there’s still lots of work to do if we’re going to see anything resembling the squad overhaul that’s needed. At the moment we still look short considering Martial, Varane, Amrabat, Van de Beek, Greenwood and Kambwala have all left the club. We need at least 3 more in before the end of the window otherwise it’s difficult to see how Ten Hag has any hope of improving on last season’s position – especially given the additional Europa fixtures this year and the fact the number of injuries shows no sign of abating.

With Ten Hag citing fatigue as a factor at the end of another jaunt to the USA, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to make a case for these fixtures being in anyway helpful to preparations ahead of a new season. For the umpteenth year in a row we’re set to begin the campaign missing players through injury and with others still at various stages of recovery from the Euros/Copa America. Flying 5,000 miles around the globe to play some meaningless friendlies might be commercially astute, but it seems detrimental to the squad’s conditioning if there are multiple casualties to contend with by the time the tour has concluded.

Obviously, such concerns didn’t stop me booking flights as soon as Los Angeles was announced. I’d never visited the West Coast before and this seemed like as good an opportunity as any. LA is absolutely massive and unlike when visiting NYC, the public transport links are bafflingly insubstantial. If you aren’t hiring a car then Uber is a must when travelling late at night if you don’t fancy taking your chances on the Metro, where you’re highly likely to encounter some of the city’s more eccentric inhabitants.

As for what it’s actually like, well it’s a culture shock. I stayed in Santa Monica on the coast and you quickly realise that whilst the streets feel very safe, there’s a not-insignificant homeless population – many of whom are in the throes of fentanyl addiction which makes their actions unpredictable to say the least. You just have to accept that amidst all the boutique shops, Michelin-starred restaurants and miles of golden beaches you’re highly likely to stumble across a sizeable number of people with their entire earthly possessions in a shopping trolley… and they might decide to stop and drop their kecks at any moment.

I got chatting to an Irish ex-pat who has been out there for 25 years and we were discussing the contrast to living over here. He said the year-round sunshine never got old and that his life consisted of regular, ‘pinch me’, LA moments. I think the most LA thing I experienced was whilst walking through Palisades Park on a Friday afternoon. You had a group of a dozen or so well-to-do women striking Yoga poses and there was a bloke with a massage table enthusiastically offering his services to anyone passing. Meanwhile, just a few feet away you had a couple of homeless guys arguing over the contents of a bin. It was quite a scene. Talk about opposite ends of the California lifestyle happily co-existing.

The United game was being played at the SoFi in Inglewood, an outrageously opulent $5.5 billion NFL stadium that opened its doors in 2020. It’s absolutely incredible, both the architecture and the facilities – little wonder it’s being cited as one of the inspirations behind the decision to build Old Trafford 2.0 as opposed to developing what we have now. Although it’s hugely impressive, I’ll still be disappointed if United commit to such a move in the coming months. Yes, it’s shiny and new and looks great on the photographs but ultimately it’s just a high-end, soulless Enormodome. I certainly wouldn’t want to play there every week.

I’m not just being contrary for the sake of it, but undertaking a project like that would be a disaster in my eyes. Any new stadium would arrive years late, hugely over budget and bearing no resemblance to the place we’ve considered home for decades. I know the YouTube lads are ecstatic at the prospect, but I’m more concerned with United remaining accessible to my friends and I as we hurtle through middle age. Make no bones about it, if we go down this road expect your ST renewal to come in at a couple of grand minimum. I don’t want a 200% increase in ticket prices for the sake of a padded seat and a cup holder. That isn’t scaremongering or shortsightedness, it’s simply the reality of what will happen.

Everything we’ve grown up with would quickly be eroded. Some will cling on because they can still just about afford it, but the bulk of our core support will be sacrificed in the name of progress. We’re going to be told a lot of lies in the coming months when the decision is inevitably greenlit, about how it’s necessary for the club to be competitive and sign the best players and all that nonsense… please don’t buy into it. One of the main drivers behind this is that it will accelerate a purging of our traditional fanbase so they can milk additional millions from an entirely different breed of MUFC supporter. Ineos might appear preferable the Glazers, but their motivation for being here is ultimately the same.

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I’m writing during the middle of the winter break and honestly, its arrival came as a relief given it signalled a fortnight without having to suffer watching United play football. It’s debatable whether this last 6 months has been the nadir of the post-Ferguson era, but it’s certainly up there with the regrettable Moyes experiment and the 2nd season under Van Gaal. It’s been tortuous at times, and the forward trajectory and resultant optimism of a year ago has disappeared completely.

There are numerous mitigating factors of course, but it doesn’t alter the fact that United remain in a complete mess. Sometimes, like after the Villa home game, you look at them and think “they’re definitely behind him” and you manage to convince yourself there’ll be a concerted effort to carry that level of determination into the next game. Then 4 days later it’s Forest away and they simply don’t turn up. It’s so predictable and the same thing has been happening for years on repeat.

Now that the transition to being INEOS-led is finally underway we can hopefully look forward to having some serious people in charge again. Poaching one of the main heads at City could be seen as a coup of sorts, but such is my complete lack of faith the immediate thought was “I bet he’s a plant” – either that or he’ll be in prison in 6 months’ time if they’re found guilty of these 115 charges. I’m being facetious of course, but it would be classic modern day United if the incumbent CEO ended up in court defending the actions of his previous employer.

Given that splashing the cash on big money transfers is no longer an option, (such activity being one of the root causes of our current predicament), there’s little we can do except pray the changes Ratcliffe, Brailsford & Co put into practice have an immediate positive effect on the current staff. Despite haemorrhaging millions on players, the overall quality of the squad is still questionable. Senior pros aren’t performing or have a terrible attitude (more on Rashford in a bit), the few quality players we have are too old or injury prone, those possessing the right work-ethic aren’t good enough and the jury’s still out on a handful of recent arrivals.

I’ll be convinced by Omar Berrada if we manage to go a few months without hearing rumours of Wan Bissaka’s terms being extended or that United are considering handing Scott McTominay a new deal. When is the penny going to drop that keeping mediocre players under contract doesn’t suddenly pique the interest of potential buyers? We’ve been doing this for a decade now and I don’t recall the tactic working once. Mediocre is probably harsh as this pair are good players, they just aren’t good enough if we’re expecting to compete at the top level any time soon.

Dalot is another one who United consider a major asset despite his performances suggesting the exact opposite is the case. By all accounts he’s a good professional and he clearly tries his hardest, but are you kidding me? I’m left dumbfounded by the narrative that he’s developed over the last couple of years. He was a liability when he was shipped off to Milan on loan 4 years ago and he remains a liability now. The fact he’s found the net as opposed to Row Z on a couple of occasions recently is more a statistical anomaly than evidence of marked improvement. It’s embarrassing that the club’s social media promotes such nonsense, it’s like they’re trying to gaslight us.

The club’s financial position is so perilous that we don’t appear to be in the position to bring in our annual comedy loan signing this month. Despite losing Martial to injury and shipping that rat Sancho back to Dortmund, unless something dramatic happens at the death it looks like we’re relying on Hojlund and Rashford alone to provide goals for the rest of the season. If one or both get injured what’s the plan then? Recalling Hugill from Burton Albion would be an option (I can’t believe I’ve just typed those words) but whatever way you look at it, we’re desperately short of options.

Although he’ll always have an army of defenders on social media, I think most normal United fans have lost it with Rashford after his “performances” over the last few months. Watching an alleged senior pro and lifelong red strop around the pitch scowling whilst turning in a series of utterly abysmal displays has done me in. I’m not sure how he had the gall to make that yapping gesture after scoring against Spurs the other week. Like a number of his peers, it’s uncertain if he’s got a clue what’s going on with his life anymore.

How he’s turned from an excited young teenager absolutely buzzing to have scored on his PL debut to the brooding, entitled bellend we witness today encapsulates everything detestable about a growing number of modern footballers. The manner in which players so lauded and highly remunerated lose all perspective and basically start taking the piss out of their own public speaks volumes about their true character. In Rashford’s case it’s all the more embarrassing given the cringeworthy “humble kid with a heart of gold” schtick that’s pumped out by his PR team.

In the meantime, the player is out clubbing in “the biggest dive in Belfast” according to another contributor to the mag, before phoning in sick and missing training the next morning. Despite the club briefing journalists that “everything is fine” and the video footage was from a previous night (it wasn’t), the optics are pretty terrible here – just as they were following his comment on Instagram reacting to Sancho’s arrival at Dortmund. They can try and play down his antics all they like, but he’s been phoning it in all season and something is clearly not right with him.

The club is facing a bit of a conundrum now because whilst Rashford appears to have decided he doesn’t fancy Ten Hag, he remains one of their biggest commercial assets and is one of the few players who’d command a large fee if they were to leave. If United decide to dispense with the manager at the end of the season (which is entirely possible irrespective of Rashford’s feelings on the subject), I’m sure he’d feel placated and everything will settle. If Ten Hag is given another season, then it’s looking increasingly likely that the club will decide to cash in this summer. Fingers crossed they go with Option B.

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