Tag Archives: manchester

All Things Must Pass

new red issue

A few years ago some ‘scientists’ discovered that the 3rd Monday in January, ‘Blue Monday’ in tabloid-speak, is apparently the most depressing day of the year. It’s all to do with dark nights, credit card bills and the bleak sense of can’t be arsedness that descends once you’re back in work after the Christmas holidays. In truth, it’s a load of made-up nonsense that gets repeated on an annual basis with no actual science behind it whatsoever. It was recently proven that the most depressing day of the year was actually the 2nd Monday in January, the root cause being United losing at home to Southampton the day before.

That game proved we’re still a mile away from becoming the finished article and LVG is fighting a losing battle if he still thinks certain individuals reared on playing in an orthodox back four possess the wit and gumption to adapt to a 3-5-2 philozophee. As the man himself explained, “I have twitched my ass on the bench because we were out of balance.” Me too, pal. The theory that his players should be comfortable in possession and build from the back is fine in principle, but the brutal truth is most of our defenders lack the requisite technical skills to play that system. Evans, Jones and Smalling can’t be viewed as budding liberos whilst they continue to struggle with the basics of passing, heading and tackling with any degree of consistency or authority.

Since Christmas, the last few weeks of football have seen United turn in some utterly turgid performances. The first half at Loftus Road saw us struggling to string 3 passes together, Valencia forgetting how to take a throw in and the depressing spectacle of Phil Jones on corner duty. As someone noted sagely on one of the forums, “I wouldn’t trust him to collect a trolley.” Calls of “4-4-2” and “attack attack attack” from the away end were the first sign of discontent from fans, understandable perhaps given the month-long entertainment drought being witnessed. This led to a 2nd half switch to 4-4-2 and a slightly improved performance, but it was still grim viewing up against relegation fodder like QPR.

Van Gaal is currently facing something of a dilemma. He’s attempting to introduce a new style of play and despite the £150M transfer outlay, he’s still looks short of the personnel to successfully accomplish this. So he’s presented with a choice: persevere with his favoured 3-5-2 with players struggling to adapt or abandon that and revert to the tried and tested 4-4-2 at the expense of his long term vision. It doesn’t take a genius to work out how this one will ultimately pan out. Van Gaal hasn’t been successful in his career due to compromising or abandoning his beliefs when players (or fans) aren’t happy with his methods. Whether people like 3-5-2 or not, the system isn’t going anywhere. If any changes are going to be made, it’ll likely be a further influx of new faces in the summer who he’s identified as an improvement to what we have in place now.

In the meantime then, we need to brace ourselves for more of the same. Although the last month has seen football as dire as anything witnessed over the last 3-4 years, I’d still argue that overall we’re moving in the right direction and progress has been made. It was never going to happen overnight, so people just need to get their heads around that fact and have a little bit of patience. If we finish top four this season then that should be seen as mission accomplished considering the mess we were in when Moyes left… plus an FA Cup win has now become a very realistic possibility following the high-profile casualties witnessed last weekend.

new red issue

The Southampton result was also compounded by the news that after 26 years of fighting the good fight, Red Issue had published their final edition and were vacating the United fanzine sphere. The sense of loss this leaves their loyal readership is difficult to sum up in a few words, indeed it’s impossible to understate the importance of the mag and the effect they’ve had on United fan culture over the last two and a half decades.

I first picked up a Red Issue back in 1989 having been completely unaware of their existence up until issue 3. From the moment I read my first copy, however, I was instantly smitten. The mag back then was nothing like the professionally produced, articulate beast it developed into a few years later – for the most part I was initially drawn to the mix of cartoons and toilet humour that perfectly suited my then Viz-fuelled teenage brain.

Those early editions were pretty outrageous in tone and they quickly made as many enemies as friends. The late-80’s fanzine boom led to an early incarnation of what is referred to these days by the twitterati as the ‘football family’. To be considered a member you had to have your mag listed in When Saturday Comes, the nationally available, self-styled Grand Master of the ‘zine scene – which always promised a good read but was invariably full of 4000 word pieces droning on about non-league ground hopping and women’s football in Botswana. WSC unsurprisingly took umbrage with Red Issue’s less cerebral content and took the petty step of barring them from their listings, a move which pleased RI immeasurably and was proudly adopted as a badge of honour.

Although the mag never fully shook off the unjust reputation it gained during those early years, it slowly became something much more than cartoons ripping the piss out of players and references to Leeds fans’ penchant for shagging sheep. As the football landscape changed beyond recognition, so did Red Issue. The mag had better writers and started to publish some of best pieces I’ve ever seen written about football, never mind Manchester United. By the mid-90’s it was instrumental in the formation of IMUSA and a couple of years further on SUAM, who months later were successful in fending off the despised Murdoch takeover bid.

Having grown up reading the mag and it having helped shape pretty much all my opinions on football, it feels very much like the end of an era. Personally speaking, Red Issue will always be the ultimate United fanzine and remains the main reason I’m writing here now. It was sad to read their final editorial where reasons for the decision were explained, but it made perfect sense considering everything they’ve warned against over the years has now come to pass. Railing against the world for 25 years takes a lot of effort and energy, so if their heart isn’t in it anymore and they no longer feel their words are having the desired effect, then maximum respect to all concerned for bowing out whilst still at the top of their game. They’ll be missed.

Copyright Red News – January 2015

www.rednews.co.uk

The Believers

jonny evans

‘The busy, festive period’ (sic) done then, and despite a couple of disappointing results, United now look a sure-fire bet for a top four finish and are still hanging onto the coat-tails of the league leaders. Although we’ve started winning games whilst not playing particularly well, we haven’t yet demonstrated an ability to snaffle late goals that tends to be the hallmark of title contenders. In truth, it’s the first month of the season that’ll cost us this season. Whilst making up 9 points on City or Chelsea is still a remote possibility, it remains very unlikely that both will slip up with such a commanding lead.

Still, stranger things have happened. In January 1996 we were 7 points behind Newcastle having played a game more and nobody beyond the toppest of top reds gave us a cat in hell’s chance of getting anywhere near them. Yet, of course, that season United ended up winning the double with a far less developed squad of players than what we possess now. I dunno, maybe I’m totally deluded or simply in denial, but I just sense that this season isn’t quite the foregone conclusion that most people assume it is. If we can get to the stage where we’re within 6 points of the top with 10 games to go, then it’ll still be very much ON.

The next 7 league games are Southampton, QPR, Leicester, West Ham, Burnley, Swansea and Sunderland. If we can get through them with near maximum points then those draws at Spurs and Stoke might start to look like decent away points rather than missed opportunities. I know this is all very unlikely, but I’m firmly of the belief that we’ve made great progress so far and will continue to do so. This season was all about rebuilding and getting back to something like normality after the debacle of Moyes’ tenure. Although it’s still a work-in-progress, it’s happening. Van Gaal is sorting it.

As I touched on last issue, the main thing United are crying out for at present is an established defensive leader. Now I’ve always had time for Jonny Evans, back in the days he first came into the side I thought he looked a terrific prospect who possessed all the tools required to become a top class centre half. It’s probably a bit harsh judging him on an afternoon in Stoke up against a force 10 gale and Peter Crouch, but it was during that game the realisation dawned that I’ve lost faith in him ever becoming a genuine top-level player.

stoke-city-supporters

Stoke, it must be said, were characteristically horrific all afternoon. This lot absolutely detest United for reasons known only to themselves, so Mark Hughes, once so beloved of this parish yet latterly, the bitterest man on the planet, is absolutely perfect for them. They must be the only club in the country where the locals turn up each week to cheer the wind, which of course enables their unique brand of ‘launch it into the box at every given opportunity’ football whilst half a dozen 6’5″ blokes attempt to rugby-tackle the goalkeeper. Their ‘style’ of play is absolute dog sick, but completely predictable given they’ve been doing exactly the same thing week in, week out since however long it is they gained promotion.

As a defender, it can’t be much fun facing this kind of onslaught, but that is what Stoke do – you simply have to deal with them. Instead, Jonny Evans spent the entire afternoon with the haunted look of a junior police constable dealing with the aftermath of a serious road traffic accident. Maybe I’m being too harsh singling him out, but as United’s longest-serving, senior defender I expected more from him this season – instead he looks off the pace and still prone to regular lapses in concentration. That said, having Phil Jones blundering about the place next to you like an over-enthusiastic Doberman would probably distract Franco Baresi too.

Whilst I’m writing this, the 3rd round of the FA Cup is underway and what a weekend of drama, romance and intrigue it’s proving to be. Brighton are beating Brentford 2-0, Doncaster are drawing 1-1 with Bristol City and Derby have scored a last minute penalty to take the lead against Southport. Geoff, Merse and Thomo aboard the Sky Sports banter bus can barely contain themselves! United, meanwhile, are off to Yeovil tomorrow in an attempt to avoid humiliation and, I suppose, kick off a march to Wembley in a competition which sadly represents our best chance of silverware this season.

You might be one of those people who really fancies a crack at the FA Cup, given the likelihood that we won’t be winning anything else and it’s now 10 years since we last picked it up… but if I’m being totally honest, I’m really not arsed. The FA Cup as it was once known and loved is now dead, it’s as redundant as every tired cliche that’ll be uttered this weekend. Progress in the competition presents little reward unless you’re one of the lucky few ground spotters or never miss a game completists fortunate to have grabbed a ticket for Yeovil (a place we’re unlikely to ever visit again) tomorrow.

yeovil-fans-1

Visits to these football outposts no longer present the opportunity for an old-skool red army invasion, you get a couple of thousand tickets at best and in truth, plenty wouldn’t bother anyway given it’s a million miles away and on a Sunday afternoon. If we get through and ultimately reach the semis/final, more visits to Wembley are the prizes. Great. That shiny, overpriced, atmosphere-free cess pit of nu-football greed and corporate hospitality. Despite having many great memories of the place prior to its demolition, I now feel nothing but resentment each time I’m obliged to step foot in the place.

Yep, I know it’s curmudgeon-like but I really couldn’t care less if we progress in the FA Cup or not. Most teams (barring those having their once-in-a-lifetime, big day out) will be resting players, attendances will be down and most managers justifiably have one eye on the next league game as their main priority. Meanwhile, commentators and ex-players nationwide will continue to do their best to try and preserve the status of something that ceased having any genuine relevance years ago… apart from that time Wigan beat City, obviously.

Finally, a quick word on the big news that Steven Gerrard has announced he’ll be leaving Liverpool at the end of the current campaign. A note of caution though, particularly to Tufty & Co at SEF before they embark on a hilarious banner highlighting his chronic lack of league titles in comparison to our current assistant manager. Given that Gerrard has just announced his future career lies in the MLS, presumably this means he’ll be turning out for City next season…

Copyright Red News – January 2015

www.rednews.co.uk

State of the Nation

sladexmas

As well as saving me a considerable sum of money, the lack of Champions League football appears to have had the effect of making the season progress remarkably quickly. Perhaps it’s just my addled brain, but it only feels like 5 minutes since Van Gaal arrived, doesn’t it? However, a glance at the calendar and the annual onslaught of Slade and Jona Lewie over the airwaves provide confirmation that we’re already in mid-December.

Despite complaining of Champions League fatigue in previous years, when the group stages resembled a mind-numbing series of easy hurdles before inevitable progression to the knock-out stages, it’s (unsurprisingly) proven a big loss this season. For a start, trying to bed in new players and a new formation would have proven a less fraught process with our usual, congested fixture schedule. Instead we’ve endured lengthy gaps in-between games after getting turfed out of the League Cup early doors and ever present menace of international football.

Secondly, something that I hadn’t previously anticipated, I’ve missed routinely turning up at Old Trafford on cold, dark November nights. Indeed, Stoke the other week was the first home game of the season under floodlights. Despite it often feeling like a pain in the arse when I’m knackered after work and the weather is crap, there’s a familiarity to that midweek routine that’s been absent this season. I meet my mates for a couple of pints in town, we jump a cab to the ground, then pay minimal attention to the actual match and instead argue/abuse each other and generally put the world to rights for 90 minutes.

It’s doesn’t feel right watching City or Liverpool on telly when United should be playing, so I’ve studiously avoided every single minute of the Champions League this season. I was delighted to hear Ronaldo downed Liverpool and equally amused that City have struggled thus far, but I can’t bring myself to actually watch them. Having spent years telling City fans that European football was “none of their business”, it’s only fair that I impose a similar mandate on myself whilst United are marooned in the European football wilderness. I’ll start watching again when they’re both knocked out, which will hopefully be very soon.

Given the wholesale changes that were made in the summer and an appalling run of injuries since then, it’s no surprise that it’s taken a bit longer than anticipated to see a settled team that is beginning to look comfortable with Van Gaal’s oft-mentioned ‘philosophy’. I’d argue that the biggest difference over the last few weeks has been the return of Michael Carrick, that and finally experiencing a bit of good fortune in a season where we’ve been on the receiving end of some ridiculous decisions against us.

chris smalling

After a terrible August which extinguished any lingering pre-season optimism, since then our form hasn’t been all that bad if you can overlook Chris Smalling’s brainstorm and the resultant non-performance at Eastlands. There’s not been very much to get excited about, but players are slowly starting to look more comfortable with the new system and their roles within it. As I said, crucially, we’ve also had to contend with the worst injury record in the league and some awful refereeing. I hate resorting to moaning about refs, it’s the hallmark of a loser – but Martin Atkinson failing to spot a blatant penalty at Sunderland and then at Leicester, Mark Clattenburg choosing to disregard Varney’s foul on Rafael and then milliseconds later, giving a pen for minimal contact, were both absolute shockers.

The Arsenal game could potentially be seen as a turning point – the first big league game won in over a year as we were finally the recipients of some good fortune. An awful 1st half featuring three teenagers in defence, Shaw (this is getting ridiculous now) injured after a quarter of an hour and United being completely outplayed. Then we are gifted a flukey own goal, Rooney scores on the counter attack and all of a sudden, we’ve somehow come away with an unexpected victory.

Factor in a handful of unspectacular home wins and United, whisper it, appear to have discovered something resembling a run of form. I’m typing these words with extreme caution because after a similarly mixed bag of results at the start of last season, we recorded 4 successive league wins last December before everything went very pear-shaped against Spurs on New Year’s Day. Still, I can’t help myself studying the league table and thinking, “hmmmm, can we?” Chelsea have at last faltered, so a win at Southampton on Monday will put us in 3rd, 8 points behind them. Winning the league won’t happen, clearly… but I haven’t quite reached the stage where I can fully admit that to myself yet.

As long as we can stay within 10 points or so, I reckon I can maintain this level of delusion/optimism until at least March. Then as we lose a couple more games and Chelsea/City win the league, we’ll only have to endure a disappointing end to the season with nothing to play for, as opposed to a 6 month period watching them disappear into the distance now. There can’t be any repeat of last season where everything unravelled to the extent the team gave up and couldn’t be arsed in the end. Even if we don’t win it, let’s at least finish 3rd (which should be a minimum aim given the absolute state of the rest of the league), continue our much improved home form and get ourselves sorted in preparation for a proper title challenge next season.

garycahill

In the meantime, if you’re stuck for gift ideas this Christmas, join me in wishing for a centre half so we can solve that particular problem before it becomes a running joke on a par with our 5 year wait for a decent midfielder. It took all of 3 weeks before Evans, Jones and Smalling were missing in action, so I’ve now abandoned hope that any of them will manage to play 5 games in succession without succumbing to to a broken leg or a bad case of impetigo. We desperately need someone, anyone in fact, capable of heading a football, tackling a bit and not being injured. The potential candidate’s ability to speak Spanish would be welcome but is not essential.

I don’t watch enough football to know who the player is, but there must be somebody out there. I never rated Gary Cahill when he was at Bolton, but someone like him would be perfect. He only cost Chelsea £7M but he’s barely missed a game in the last 3 years. A proper old fashioned stopper who wins headers, makes tackles, lumps it into touch and goes up for corners to score the odd goal. How hard can it be? Don’t talk to me about Mats Hummels. Dortmund are a spent force, he’ll cost an absolute fortune and he’s always injured. Find us the next Gary Cahill, Louis.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Copyright Red News – December 2014

www.rednews.co.uk