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Start Again

So my prediction last month that he’d last until the November international break proved optimistic in the end. I’m disappointed for Erik, but I’m sure that he knew it was coming the same as we did. He was on borrowed time since the Ineos takeover and was only spared the axe in May due to the unexpected FA Cup success. Other than that, our league form was utterly abject and despite the influx of new players in the summer, showed little sign of improvement.

When some time has passed I think his tenure might be looked upon more favourably. During his first season in charge, after a terrible start we actually looked like a decent side for a few months. That period saw him dispense with Ronaldo and culminated with the league cup win at Wembley. For a few weeks it genuinely felt like bald was indeed best and that something might be happening. Then Casemiro lost form through injury and suspension and De Gea started chucking it in his own net every week. The moment had gone and we never recovered.

Last season saw us go from bad to worse. Sancho took on Ronaldo’s mantle of disrupter-in-chief, Rashford virtually gave up trying and injuries across the whole squad decimated any chance of him picking a settled side. There was also the ongoing saga of the takeover resulting in a brand new management structure to contend with. Amidst all that Ten Hag successfully eased out serial underperformers and replaced them with several promising kids which was all a huge positive, but unfortunately didn’t lead to an upturn in league form.

The FA Cup win bought him a couple of months but if he was going to survive, this summer’s intake had to gel instantly and he needed results. That obviously didn’t happen but I still believe we’re in a better place now than when he first took over. Ten Hag wasn’t entirely blameless by any stretch and you could reasonably argue the job ultimately proved too big and that he’d run out of ideas. But I’d also contest that he needed more time. Unfortunately though, with Ineos ultra-keen to be seen as aggressively pursuing best-in-class, Erik was never going to be given the additional year or two needed to complete the jigsaw.

It didn’t take long for Ten Hag’s successor to be identified, and it wasn’t a name many would have predicted given his absence from the shortlist that was doing the rounds in the summer. An unfamiliar figure to most, the new man was to be Ruben Amorim from Sporting CP. He’s young, speaks good English, distinct playing style, highly rated coach, successful in a ‘lesser’ league and universally loved by his players. Basically, he possesses the exact same set of credentials that made Ten Hag the standout candidate in 2022.

It’s a shame that amidst the upheaval we’ve also lost ravishing Ruud after just a few months back at the club. I hadn’t really considered this a possibility given he was an Ineos-approved appointment, wrongly assuming it was part of a wider strategy that would see Ashworth/Wilcox take charge of the coaching structure from now on. One can only assume that Amorim made it a condition of the deal that he was only interested if his trusted deputies (the Amorimettes?) were allowed to accompany him.

Amorim arrived at Carrington looking tanned, relaxed and with a beaming smile plastered across his face – the Moncler jacket and hoodie giving off groovy 6th form tutor aesthetics. Also notable was a distinct lack of grey hair (give it 6 months) and a jeans/ trainers combo so appalling it brought to mind those strange rig outs City’s squad choose to wear on match day. Based off the MUTV-released footage, Amorim spent his first day in the country shaking hands with every single person within a 2 mile radius of OT. Receptionists, ground staff, chefs, random museum punters, the lot.

When I read that our new man is committed to playing 3-4-3 my immediate thought was there’s no way he can even attempt that with our lot. Successive United coaches have struggled to impose a distinct style of play and previous attempts at high intensity pressing lasted about 5 mins before the idea was abandoned. One of Ten Hags problems is that he was slow to recognise it was nigh on impossible to play out from the back once he was missing Martinez and half his midfield wouldn’t show for the ball.

Having pondered it for a while, I’d tentatively suggest it might possibly have a chance of working now. Martinez and De Ligt are both very capable of adapting and Mazraoui continues to impress on the ball. If Luke Shaw is nearing full fitness again (a big ‘if’, I know), then the idea might not be as outlandish as it first seemed. I still feel that Amorim has his work cut out if he’s expecting the entire squad to happily embrace a new formation and fresh ideas. One player in particular should be counting his blessings at the fact he’s survived yet another managerial cull whilst continuing to stink the place out with both his attitude and general demeanour.

As for his overall chances of success? We’ve been at this juncture so many times in recent years so who knows. I don’t think the squad’s a million miles away now but he definitely needs a new LB and another centre half. A top quality striker remains a must and a midfielder to replace Casemiro and Erikson when they depart in the summer. As well as that he could do with a decent start, regular doses of good fortune and most crucially of all, he needs consistent results. A magic wand would be nice too, of course.

In his first interview he made all the right noises, correctly pointing out that results buy time and for now, his immediate priority is giving the team an identity – something that completely eluded his predecessor. Amorim claims to be relaxed and not feeling “the weight” as he described it, but I don’t expect that to last. He’ll quickly discover (he should really know already) that the United gig comes with levels of scrutiny and pressure that don’t apply to almost any other job in football. The refs aren’t your friend and the media can’t wait for you to screw up.

The message has surely been relayed to Amorim that the expectation is the club needs to be challenging for the title next season otherwise he’ll be moved on. Ineos’ treatment of Ten Hag has made that perfectly clear – cup wins won’t save you, they’ll only delay your departure. As for the brains trust at the OT helm, they have their own man in now so they need to back him properly and show some patience. I won’t be happy if we’re having this same conversation again in a couple of years’ time.

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Fetch The Bolt Cutters

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The fact I’ve delayed writing this column until minutes before deadline due to the possibility Ten Hag could be sacked at any moment speaks volumes for how the campaign has begun. Given he was on thin ice to begin with, it was crucial that the new signings hit the ground running and that the team showed a marked improvement on last season’s miserable form. Unfortunately for Erik, instead it’s been a continuation of what we’ve seen for the last 18 months or so. United are still a complete disaster. We might even be getting worse based on the evidence seen so far.

It’s not all been completely terrible, as the first hour at Palace demonstrated what the team could be capable of at some point in the future. That aside, it’s difficult to find any positives at all other than the fact Mazraoui (naturally now unavailable for the foreseeable) looks to be an upgrade on Wan-Bissaka. But that’s pretty much all I can summon up 2 months into the current season. The main highlight I can recall is a goalless draw at Selhurst Park where we actually looked like a functioning football team for a brief period. And that’s your lot, really. It’s been almost laughably grim viewing for the most part.

Ten Hag really doesn’t help himself at times, and his reading of the game can be perplexing to say the least. Attackers are repeatedly withdrawn from games for purposes of rotation, he says – but when they’ve been the most threatening presence on the pitch (Rashford at Porto for example) the substitutions make no sense. I thought the same thing when he hooked Zirkzee at Palace, rather than providing fresh momentum, the subs tend to interrupt the flow and kill any attacking impetus. I understand the need to rotate and give players minutes, but surely what’s happening on the pitch should inform these decisions.

As well as the seemingly preordained attacking substitutions, he’s developed a habit of causing defensive uncertainty by making regular mid-game switches at centre-half. If these changes are forced due to injury or fatigue then fair enough, but there’s been a number of instances where this hasn’t appeared to be the case at all. For a team that needs to develop a spine, it’s a strange way to try and instil any kind of confidence or consistency. We don’t look to have progressed in the slightest – it’s the same incoherent mess that was a struggle to watch throughout the duration of last season.

Out of all the summer signings made, the one we desperately needed to work out was Ugarte in midfield. Casemiro looks like he’d struggle with the pace of Soccer Aid these days, Mainoo is suffering from starting every game and Bruno gets more erratic by the week. Based on the evidence seen so far, I’m not convinced Ugarte is anywhere near the level needed to improve the team’s ability to control games and dominate possession. I always forget that Mason Mount plays for United given how infrequently he’s seen. Anyway, he made a brief re-appearance before promptly getting injured again to no one’s great surprise.

I’ve always been a staunch defender of Bruno and overlooked his shortcomings due to the fact he provides a goal threat in a team that largely doesn’t. However, the moments of inspiration are becoming less frequent and his bad games are starting to outnumber the good ones. The worse the team is performing, the more risks he takes. Honestly, I’m starting to see logic in the school of thought that suggests we’ll never progress whilst he’s handed a license to roam around the pitch and do pretty much whatever he fancies.

It’s probably the recent sending offs that have tipped me over the edge, but I’m getting tired of watching the same things happen over and over again. If United were a better team we could probably accommodate his recklessness, but we aren’t. The midfield consists of vast swathes of empty space for the most part so it’s no wonder we struggle to control games. I said after the Spurs game that the 3 game suspension might turn out to be a blessing in disguise given it would force Ten Hag to try something different. Then, naturally, the red card gets overturned. Of course it does. More chaos incoming, then.

I was pleased that Ten Hag was given the opportunity to stay on this summer, but suspected deep down that we were headed for this juncture sooner rather than later. Ineos appeared to explore every possible alternative before offering him a chance to turn things around, but clearly the gamble has backfired spectacularly. We’re currently sitting 14th in the PL table and 21st in the Europa League. If we’re being honest, an 8th place finish flattered us last season when our form was more akin of a mid-table team. Right now it’s no longer a question of if they sack him, it’s more a question of when.

Despite being confounded by many of his decisions, the stubborn part of me still hopes they keep their nerve and give him more time. I maintain that Ten Hag is a top man and think he’s done a lot of positive things (in difficult circumstances) in trying to change the culture around the club. We all acknowledged it would likely take 2-3 years to eradicate the failings of the previous regime and become serious contenders again. Having decided to put their faith in him in June, is it really the right call to reverse on that decision before the end of October?

On balance, it probably is – as I don’t expect to see any sudden upturn in form over the next few months. Although I’m loathe to admit defeat and return to the cycle of sacking managers every 2 years, it now feels inevitable that he’ll be gone in a matter of weeks. The club can’t afford a season floundering in mid-table without any signs of progress. Qualification for Europe looks to be a stretch at present, never mind finishing in the top 4. My expectation is he’ll limp on until the next international break, by which time the board will have lined up the next recipient of the poisoned chalice. I’m sorry, Erik – but it’s just not happening, is it?

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No Apologies

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There’s been little to be enthused about recently but City’s unexpected exit from the Champions League prompted one of those rare days where you could stroll into work actively enthused at the prospect of football discourse. I’m well aware that getting your thrills from schadenfreude is pretty desperate, but here we are. In fairness, way back when we were successful I was just as petty. I can recall watching their playoff final out in town days after the treble win feeling utterly dejected as a handful of Kappa-clad scrotes spilled onto Princess Street in celebration. Football makes us like this. And we have the cheek to call them ‘bitter’.

Liverpool’s capitulation post-Amadgeddon has been equally amusing to witness. Jurgen the German celebrating a league title in front of a packed Anfield was a nauseating prospect and the ensuing media love-in would’ve continued for months. City winning 4 on the bounce is the borderline preferable alternative which remains the most likely outcome of this year’s title race… unless Arsenal do something very out of character and provide a satisfactory conclusion to the season regardless of what happens at Wembley later this month.

The most unlikely participant in this year’s CL semis has to be Jadon Sancho, back on the global stage as his underwhelming loan spell at Dortmund draws to a close. Despite playing well against PSG, the reaction to his performance was ridiculously over-hyped and had all the usual idiots clamouring for his recall to both United and the national side. Quite frankly, Sancho could score a hat-trick in the final and win the Ballon d’Or and I still wouldn’t want him anywhere near Carrington ever again. He had multiple chances at United to get both his fitness and his head straight yet never looked remotely interested.

The motive behind getting Jamie Carragher to slobber all over him, kissing his arse is that it’s an easy stick to beat Ten Hag with. Poor misunderstood Jadon, look at the smile on his face now he’s free from the clutches of that tyrannical bald loser etc. Do me a favour. Sancho underperformed from the moment he was signed and irrespective of whatever else is going on at the club, ultimately the responsibility for that lies with him alone. Some players just can’t hack it at United and he’s simply the latest in a long line. Weak mentality and when called out by his boss, his reaction was to effectively go on strike before scarpering off to Germany. Keep your fingers crossed Dortmund spend their CL prize money on taking him back permanently.

Ineos briefing journos that United will listen to offers for all but 3 of the squad is interesting, particularly the timing as the club prepares for the summer transfer window. Such a message implies they’re hoping to shift a number of players quickly so the proceeds can boost what might be a relatively tight budget otherwise. The fact that the ‘club insider’ chose to name Garnacho, Hojlund and Mainoo is also quite telling in that it indicates anyone else is expendable if the right bid were to arrive. No surprise to Maguire and McTominay who were close to leaving last summer, but surely an eye-opener for the likes of Martinez, Shaw and Fernandes.

If the new regime is deadly serious about changing the way the club operates (evidence so far suggests they are) then the one with major re-sale value who definitely needs shipping out is Marcus Rashford. Once you’ve lost the support of match goers who’re usually the last to turn against (especially local) players, the writing is on the wall and it’s time to leave. I expect his brains trust advisors are well aware of how perilous his current position is as they quickly counter-briefed The Sun (“IN NO RASH TO LEAVE”) indicating his desire to stay put.

Of course he wishes to remain here, despite the smacked arse demeanour and body language that suggests he now detests playing football for a living. I’m not convinced any other club barring the Saudis would pay him what he’s earning currently. His numerous commercial deals will be in jeopardy once he migrates to that football wilderness as he’s nowhere near Ronaldo-level fame. No doubt he’s praying Ten Hag gets the bullet at the end of the season so he’s presented with a clean slate to kick on from in August. His behaviour this year will quickly be forgiven/forgotten after a few goals under Ten Hag’s successor, unfortunately.

The situation with Rashford and Sancho illustrates why I think placating these prima donnas and dispensing with yet another manager would be a mistake this summer. I’m not convinced that Ten Hag is the right man for the United job, but I am convinced that we’re not going to make any progress by indulging players who aren’t fully committed. Giving Ten Hag another season and jettisoning the pair would send out exactly the right message about the future intentions of the people in charge of the club, even if it does eventually turn out that bald isn’t in fact best.

The fact that Ratcliffe hasn’t backed the manager publicly during this tumultuous campaign points towards the likelihood he’ll be gone at the season’s close. Personally, I’ll be disappointed as it’ll signal that little has changed since Woodward and Arnold were in charge. Ten Hag took over a team in chaos and hasn’t had the time or the resources to complete it. He’s had a terrible 2nd season and blown his budget on some spectacular flops, but this job was always going to require 4-5 years and multiple transfer windows. I can see the logic in starting from scratch under someone new, but we’ve been at this juncture before when Mourinho was axed and the club granted several players a reprieve instead.

Although it’s all doom and gloom at present, I recently made the point to the Editor that we’re in another Cup Final and most likely Europe again next season. All about perspective, innit? What we take for granted is pretty wild in comparison to what the majority of football fans experience year on year. I’ll be taking a similarly sanguine attitude to Wembley in a couple of weeks to ensure no repeat of last year where I spent the entire game in a state of mental turmoil as the spectre of City’s treble loomed large. This time, I’ll simply be there for a good time. No expectations, no disappointment. Enjoy the summer and see you in August.

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