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Beaten To The Punch

After a frantic last few days, the transfer window slammed shut and I think it’s fair to say it was mission accomplished barring the signing of a new midfielder. The bomb squad were successfully jettisoned, we’ve got a brand new front 3 and perhaps most crucially, the club eventually decided to bring in a new goalkeeper. It’s too early to tell if we’re in a significantly better position now but even if the new signings ultimately flop, at least the corrosive influence of certain personalities around the squad has been removed.

What’s abundantly clear, given he’s played every card he was handed this summer, is that Amorim loves a gamble. Despite Onana being a complete disaster for 2 years he was still the most experienced keeper at the club. Replacing him with a 23 year old Belgian kid represents a huge risk. Likewise, the decision to give up on Hojlund and swap him out with a relatively unproven like-for-like replacement in Sesko. I mean, I wish the pair of them all the luck in the world but it wouldn’t be a major shock if this all backfired spectacularly.

As I stressed last month, they simply had to sign a goalkeeper. Results will never improve if you’ve got a keeper guaranteed to make a mistake every single game. The season has started demonstrating precisely that with both Bayindir and Onana making the same routine gaffes that have become almost inevitable over the last 12 months. Although he’s an enormous dickhead, I would have been tempted to go for Martinez ahead of Lammens, personally. We need someone who can step in immediately and can ill-afford a period of adjustment or settling in.

It’s pretty much the same story with Sesko and I’m left scratching my head why they’ve gone down this route again. Just like Hojlund, there’s clearly huge potential there but it’s going to take time for it to be realised. Assuming he doesn’t hit the ground running, how long before he too is on his way to Italy on loan and the striker search begins again? Honestly, I’d have been tempted to give Hojlund another season and invest the cash in a midfielder instead. I’ve just got a really bad feeling about this one, we’ve been burned by the Bundesliga too many times.

I do feel sorry for Rasmus as he clearly loved playing for United and he’s still only a young lad. If he’d been signed as a 3rd/4th choice option and integrated into the team slowly we might have been reaping the benefits by now. Instead he arrived with a ridiculous price tag and was expected to thrive in a dysfunctional team against a backdrop of a club in turmoil. The odds were against him from the start and after a reasonable goal return in his 1st year, his confidence drained away completely as everything unravelled last season.

The fact he was a Ten Hag signing probably didn’t help his cause when he was pushing to stay and fight for his place. I hope he thrives in Naples and then depending on how Sesko fares, it might be worth giving him another shot after his loan period comes to an end. Then again, I might be talking complete bollocks and he is in fact the carthorse he resembled during those last few months. I’ve really got no idea anymore. What is certain is that we’ve become very adept at not realising the potential of virtually any new player arriving at the club.

Amorim signalled his intention to persist with Bayindir during the pre-Derby presser and you just know that isn’t going to end well. He’s a known target now due to his lack of physicality on corners, as witnessed in both the Arsenal and Fulham games already this season. Not only does he not manage to lay a glove on the ball, he seems to spend an inordinate amount of time scrambling round on the floor. Expect Lammens to be starting as soon as he demonstrates even the slightest bit of competency on the training ground.

I recognise that we had a budget this summer and there was a list of priorities in place, but the lack of midfield options will likely cost us dear in the coming months. It’s hard to win football matches if you can’t consistently control them. Amorim doesn’t seem to fancy Mainoo or trust Ugarte which leaves Casemiro as his most likely starter in the middle, meaning we’re likely to continue getting overrun more often than not. Given the lack of funds available to bring in extra legs, the decision to let Toby Collyer go out on loan looks puzzling as we’ve even fewer options there than last season. Mason Mount, naturally, is injured again.

Fears we’d be short of glamorous destinations due to missing out on Europe were allayed when the League Cup draw pitted us against Grimsby Town. I’m not even joking either. As domestic cup draws go, this one was about as good as you can possibly hope for. Seaside town in late August, somewhere we’ve never been before and only a couple of hours away? Absolutely sensational stuff that almost felt like recompense for those 500 consecutive home draws we suffered through a couple of years back.

Cleethorpes turned out to be quite nice as well. Not a run-down shithole at all, although it did feel a bit like stepping into a time machine and going back 50 years. A sizeable number of the locals proved to be archetypal tracksuit-clad, Free Tommy inbreds but I suppose you encounter that pretty much everywhere now. The only downside apart from the inevitable calamitous cup exit was the how difficult it was finding a drink after the game, with virtually every pub there closing its doors at 11pm. You don’t get that in San Sebastián.

Defeat on the East coast made Burnley the first of what’s likely to be numerous must-win games this season. It wasn’t pretty and despite doing our best to chuck it away, we got there eventually affording Amorim some breathing space ahead of the subsequent international break. With City, Chelsea and Liverpool incoming over the next few weeks he desperately needs something to click with this team. Failing that, the current goalkeeping conundrum might soon become someone else’s problem.

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3ft High and Rising

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Gulp. I think we all expected another tough season but I don’t think many anticipated the R word might become a possibility at any point. In true modern-day United fashion, everything that can go wrong is currently going wrong and the team (predictably) looks utterly bamboozled by the demands of the new manager. If Ruben Amorim wasn’t aware of the size of the task ahead of him when he first joined the club then he certainly is now.

Talk of relegation is probably being dramatic but it’s fair to say the club has sunk to its lowest ebb since the late-80s. Changing the manager mid-season was incredibly risky, especially considering how Amorim was determined to impose a new formation on a group of players who routinely make the very basics of football look mind-bendingly difficult. The PL is an unforgiving environment to try out new ideas and opponents have been quick to capitalise on the general air of confusion. Honestly Ruben, a 5 minute chat with literally anyone who’s watched us for the last 2-3 years could have warned you of this.

Some of the things witnessed over the last month or so have defied belief. I’ve been following United for over 4 decades and I’ve never seen a goal scored direct from a corner – yet somehow we contrived to concede in this manner in consecutive games. This came after the debacle at Arsenal where Onana, faced with Arsenal’s much vaunted corner kick routine, decided that the best way of dealing with it was to stand rooted to his goal line as opposed to attempting a clearance or god forbid, catching the thing. It was utterly pathetic.

Amorim’s attempts to rotate and give everyone a fair opportunity haven’t really worked and if anything, have only added to the chaos. It’s not entirely his fault as out of the squad he took over only Amad and Mazraoui have shown the slightest bit of form over the last few months. The rest of them have been mainly atrocious since the start of the season. Ten Hag got criticised for being aloof and taking the hardline approach and Amorim seems similarly unperturbed about ruffling feathers. I’m absolutely fine with that, personally – though I don’t expect it will end well for him.

The decision to remove Marcus Rashford from the starting XL came as no surprise as rumours about his discipline and re-fuelling habits have persisted longer than his decline in form. Although I appreciate Amorim trying to make it clear about what is and what isn’t acceptable, I don’t see him winning this particular battle. Rashford knows he has the club by the balls and is free to decide his own future. Whilst I’m sure the club are regretting that long term contract signed in July 2023 and would love to get him off the books, I don’t see anyone outside of Saudi willing to stump up £50M+ and take on his extortionate wages.

Rashford seems to be in full denial of his own shortcomings, hence the now trademark sulky demeanour and lack of application on the pitch. It’s Sancho all over again – mollycoddled player refusing to accept that responsibility is ultimately theirs despite the club bending over backwards to try and accommodate them. Multiple warnings, 2nd chances, pat on the back, arm round the shoulder, blah blah – all for nothing. Meanwhile the player’s personal failings remain unaddressed as their ‘advisors’, the people paid a huge chunk to guide these young millionaires through their careers, only enhance their sense of entitlement by convincing them their conduct is justified and it’s everyone else who’s in the wrong.

That’s essentially why I’ve lost it with Rashford and there’s no going back whatever happens in future. It’s nothing to do with his skin colour, dress sense or choice of holiday destination. I couldn’t care less about where he was born or the fact he’s been at the club since he was a toddler, it just makes his career decline all the more disappointing. Compare and contrast with Diogo Dalot, a limited talent by comparison and often a defensive liability but you could never question his commitment or desire to play for United. Yes, he’s a bit of a knobhead going round hi-fiving all and sundry but if his more-esteemed colleagues matched his energy and enthusiasm I suspect we’d be a lot higher than 14th in the table.

The Rashford contract was another Arnold/Murtough cock-up that will continue to have repercussions until it expires in 2028. And it will expire, because he’ll never sign another like it unless he decides to accept the Saudi lucre earlier than planned. The latest round of briefings from his camp were careful to state that as well as rejecting 3 offers so far he is also (surprise, surprise) “open to staying at United”. Of course he is. We can only hope the club holds its nerve and continues to back Amorim during this current stand-off. Ineos haven’t got very much right in recent months but they at least backed Ten Hag after he decided to dispense with Sancho under similar circumstances.

The Newcastle game was another low point, one that most would have predicted once news broke that Amorim was starting Casemiro and Erikson in midfield together. Again, a deeply flawed decision that was always likely to backfire spectacularly. Zirkzee was hooked and bore the brunt of the OT crowd’s frustration, unceremoniously booed off after only half an hour. Obviously, this was out of order and provided terrible optics to amplify what was an already dire situation. I mean, it’s not his fault is it? He might well be useless and not last very long here but he’s just the latest in a long line of questionable signings. I know everything is crap at present, but let’s not lose the plot completely.

The almost relentless doom of the last month was at least punctuated by a couple of encouraging performances. The unexpected injury time win at the Etihad was possibly eclipsed by a very credible point at Anfield where the team demonstrated what they can achieve once everyone applies themselves. It was our best performance of the season by a distance with players snapping into tackles and leaving everything out on the pitch. We very unlucky not to sneak the 3 points in the end and hopefully sets a benchmark for what needs to be repeated over the coming months.

These are still the early days of Amorim’s reign and it’s been a rocky start to say the least. He’s taken over a struggling team that’s an uneven mix of kids, new signings and a fair few who know they’ll be shipped out once their contracts are up. I don’t think we’re as bad as the league position suggests but it’s clear he has a job on his hands trying to build a team out of what he’s inherited. Honestly, I don’t know where we go from here given the schizophrenic nature of most of these players. I hope they step up for him but honestly, it wouldn’t be a shock if it blew up in his face and he was canned before the end of the season. Who knows what’s coming next.

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Start Again

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So my prediction last month that he’d last until the November international break proved optimistic in the end. I’m disappointed for Erik, but I’m sure that he knew it was coming the same as we did. He was on borrowed time since the Ineos takeover and was only spared the axe in May due to the unexpected FA Cup success. Other than that, our league form was utterly abject and despite the influx of new players in the summer, showed little sign of improvement.

When some time has passed I think his tenure might be looked upon more favourably. During his first season in charge, after a terrible start we actually looked like a decent side for a few months. That period saw him dispense with Ronaldo and culminated with the league cup win at Wembley. For a few weeks it genuinely felt like bald was indeed best and that something might be happening. Then Casemiro lost form through injury and suspension and De Gea started chucking it in his own net every week. The moment had gone and we never recovered.

Last season saw us go from bad to worse. Sancho took on Ronaldo’s mantle of disrupter-in-chief, Rashford virtually gave up trying and injuries across the whole squad decimated any chance of him picking a settled side. There was also the ongoing saga of the takeover resulting in a brand new management structure to contend with. Amidst all that Ten Hag successfully eased out serial underperformers and replaced them with several promising kids which was all a huge positive, but unfortunately didn’t lead to an upturn in league form.

The FA Cup win bought him a couple of months but if he was going to survive, this summer’s intake had to gel instantly and he needed results. That obviously didn’t happen but I still believe we’re in a better place now than when he first took over. Ten Hag wasn’t entirely blameless by any stretch and you could reasonably argue the job ultimately proved too big and that he’d run out of ideas. But I’d also contest that he needed more time. Unfortunately though, with Ineos ultra-keen to be seen as aggressively pursuing best-in-class, Erik was never going to be given the additional year or two needed to complete the jigsaw.

It didn’t take long for Ten Hag’s successor to be identified, and it wasn’t a name many would have predicted given his absence from the shortlist that was doing the rounds in the summer. An unfamiliar figure to most, the new man was to be Ruben Amorim from Sporting CP. He’s young, speaks good English, distinct playing style, highly rated coach, successful in a ‘lesser’ league and universally loved by his players. Basically, he possesses the exact same set of credentials that made Ten Hag the standout candidate in 2022.

It’s a shame that amidst the upheaval we’ve also lost ravishing Ruud after just a few months back at the club. I hadn’t really considered this a possibility given he was an Ineos-approved appointment, wrongly assuming it was part of a wider strategy that would see Ashworth/Wilcox take charge of the coaching structure from now on. One can only assume that Amorim made it a condition of the deal that he was only interested if his trusted deputies (the Amorimettes?) were allowed to accompany him.

Amorim arrived at Carrington looking tanned, relaxed and with a beaming smile plastered across his face – the Moncler jacket and hoodie giving off groovy 6th form tutor aesthetics. Also notable was a distinct lack of grey hair (give it 6 months) and a jeans/ trainers combo so appalling it brought to mind those strange rig outs City’s squad choose to wear on match day. Based off the MUTV-released footage, Amorim spent his first day in the country shaking hands with every single person within a 2 mile radius of OT. Receptionists, ground staff, chefs, random museum punters, the lot.

When I read that our new man is committed to playing 3-4-3 my immediate thought was there’s no way he can even attempt that with our lot. Successive United coaches have struggled to impose a distinct style of play and previous attempts at high intensity pressing lasted about 5 mins before the idea was abandoned. One of Ten Hags problems is that he was slow to recognise it was nigh on impossible to play out from the back once he was missing Martinez and half his midfield wouldn’t show for the ball.

Having pondered it for a while, I’d tentatively suggest it might possibly have a chance of working now. Martinez and De Ligt are both very capable of adapting and Mazraoui continues to impress on the ball. If Luke Shaw is nearing full fitness again (a big ‘if’, I know), then the idea might not be as outlandish as it first seemed. I still feel that Amorim has his work cut out if he’s expecting the entire squad to happily embrace a new formation and fresh ideas. One player in particular should be counting his blessings at the fact he’s survived yet another managerial cull whilst continuing to stink the place out with both his attitude and general demeanour.

As for his overall chances of success? We’ve been at this juncture so many times in recent years so who knows. I don’t think the squad’s a million miles away now but he definitely needs a new LB and another centre half. A top quality striker remains a must and a midfielder to replace Casemiro and Erikson when they depart in the summer. As well as that he could do with a decent start, regular doses of good fortune and most crucially of all, he needs consistent results. A magic wand would be nice too, of course.

In his first interview he made all the right noises, correctly pointing out that results buy time and for now, his immediate priority is giving the team an identity – something that completely eluded his predecessor. Amorim claims to be relaxed and not feeling “the weight” as he described it, but I don’t expect that to last. He’ll quickly discover (he should really know already) that the United gig comes with levels of scrutiny and pressure that don’t apply to almost any other job in football. The refs aren’t your friend and the media can’t wait for you to screw up.

The message has surely been relayed to Amorim that the expectation is the club needs to be challenging for the title next season otherwise he’ll be moved on. Ineos’ treatment of Ten Hag has made that perfectly clear – cup wins won’t save you, they’ll only delay your departure. As for the brains trust at the OT helm, they have their own man in now so they need to back him properly and show some patience. I won’t be happy if we’re having this same conversation again in a couple of years’ time.

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