Tag Archives: wayne rooney

Waiting For The Man

Moyes-First-Day

So it began, the David Moyes era. He slipped into Carrington (sorry, the AON Training Complex) on July 1st wearing a nervous smile and a shiny grey suit that looked more M&S than Saville Row. Fitting perhaps, as unlike the two Iberian candidates this appointment was the board’s attempt to source an off-the-peg replacement for Fergie. Moyes is undoubtedly the safe choice: low on stardust but more crucially, low on potential flounces and histrionics too.

Fergie’s parting broadside at Wayne Rooney presented DM with his first major issue before he’d even started the job. I’m still trying to work out now what the sense was in making the alleged ‘transfer request’ public, surely it would have strengthened the club’s bargaining position if the details of this had been kept private? What Fergie definitely achieved though, was placing Moyes under pressure from the start and kickstarting a story that has followed him round like a bad smell all summer. ‘What’s the story about Wayne, Dave?’, ‘Tell us about Wayne, Dave?’, ‘Have you had a chat with Wayne, Dave?’, ‘Dave, Dave, Daaaaave?’ It must be driving him fucking daft.

Throughout the club, this his been a summer of BIG CHANGES. Fergie was barely on his ferry floating round Scotland (worst summer holiday ever), before Ed Woodward and Dickie Arnold (Niles Crane and Billy Bunter) joined Moyes at the helm ready to steer us through the murky, uncertain waters of the post-Wizard era. They signalled their intent by doing something which should have been done 3 years ago – they signed a world-class central midfielder. Ha! Of course they didn’t, but they did manage to open a Twitter account.

Yes, the winds of change were howling through Old Trafford this summer. Not only did the club embrace Twitter, they also opened an Instagram account and then signed up with Google+ – sensational developments, a communication revolution that heralded our nascent steps in this scary new era. Fergie might not have approved of witchcraft like the internet and signing midfielders – but he was gone and these new guys clearly weren’t phased by such prospects. So with our social media portfolio in place, new signings were surely an absolute certainty? Ronaldo, Thiago, Fabregas, Modric, Leon Osman… the possibilities were endless.

Before the signings commenced, first it was time for the ANNUAL INTERNATIONAL MAN U MEGASUMMER ROADSHOW which this year saw us schlepp round Australia and Asia for several months. What can I say? Taking in 50 billion miles and playing to 50 billion spectators, it was an enormous success that provided idyllic preparations for the squad ahead of another demanding season. Something like that, anyway.

thailand

Ed fled the tour, hotfooting it back to the UK to stalk Cesc Fabregas aka ‘urgent transfer business’ (which we knew due to the sudden open season approach to communications, with press briefings now occurring on an hourly basis) so it was left for Dickie to do the talking in his absence. It was cringeworthy stuff. “Our description is the heartbeat of Manchester, the pulse is all over the world”, “I stand on the shoulders of giants. We are every bit as much of a team off the pitch as we are on it.” Then there’s this corker of a quote which needs to be considered in its entirety to be fully appreciated…

“David (Gill) has been preparing both myself and Ed in quite some detail about the way it all works. Ed has been particularly well briefed about the operations of how we transact with players, both the fantastic ones we already have and if there is an opportunity to buy. As befits a man of his nature, David did a fantastic job in the nurturing he has given us, the preparation and the handover. Laying the flight path to the runway is all about preparation. Everyone is well aware of the change. But from the inside, in the context of having to make the change, it has been fantastically well done.”

“Fantastic” indeed. I make that rhetoric, arse-kissing, self-reverence, backslapping, a customary metaphor AND an acute case of premature congratulation. Impressive stuff – it’s no wonder the commercial departments of all these sponsors, sorry ‘global partners’ we’ve recently accumulated gravitate towards Arnold… he talks like a man with a PhD in corporate bullshit.

In fairness to Dickie, if his job is to maximise commercial revenue he appears to be an absolute master of his trade. This summer the club have racked up another 5 commercial deals taking the number of official sponsors to a mind-boggling 33. Kansai Paint are the club’s official paint partner. It’s mental when you think about it – an official paint partner. Do they contact us or do we contact them with such a proposal? “Hello, Manchester United here…just wondered if you’d like to give us a load of money and samples and we’ll say we’re errrrr… paint partners? You do?! Fantastic. Just wire the money through and we’ll sort you a picture of Kagawa holding up two tins of emulsion. Sorted then, cheers.”

kansai

At last everyone arrived home before immediately jetting off again for a quick friendly in Stockholm – a throwback to the days when United undertook a tour of Scandinavia every summer. Those tours seemed quite exotic back then, especially considering City never travelled any further than the Isle of Man tournament. Then came Wembley for the Charity Shield, a chance for early season silverware and to check out the new signings we’d been *that* close to bringing in for several weeks. We won the trophy of course, but the new faces were strangely absent – probably just a delay with the paperwork I expect.

So after a summer of stalking, sulking and waiting patiently it was finally time to kick-off at Swansea, with the club’s sideline business of winning football matches thankfully restored to the top of the agenda. Moyes got his debut win – important given the nightmare start he’s been dealt fixture-wise. Anything less than 3 points and the pressure would have been piled on ahead of today’s (Chelsea) game. Other observations? Reds in fine voice, midfield deficiencies not addressed, Giggs still starting, Rooney sat on the fringes looking mightily pissed off and Robin Van Persie absolutely brilliant.

New era? Doesn’t appear much has changed in truth.

Copyright Red News – August 2013

www.rednews.co.uk

Be Thankful For What You Got

Rooneysub

It was all going so well and everything seemed to be in place to beat Madrid. Plans, tactics, timing and personnel were bang on as the hour mark approached – then came the defining moment of the tie and United were somewhat unjustly reduced to 10 men. We got a bad decision, one that tipped an already tight game in Madrid’s favour and made things very difficult. Difficult, but not impossible, surely?

Yes, pretty much everyone barring Roy Keane accepted the referee had got it wrong. Though amidst the wailing and chest-beating that took place during the aftermath, I couldn’t help feeling that it was United, not the referee who’d lost the plot. Bad decisions happen in football matches all the time, it’s how you react to them that counts.

The manner in which we appeared so utterly flummoxed by a single injustice surprised me. Fergie was berating the 4th official and attempting to rouse the crowd whilst Mourinho reshuffled; as the game re-started only Rio Ferdinand seemed alert as to what was occurring whilst the rest of the team were simply stood looking at each other. Ryan Giggs meanwhile, continued to harangue the ref during every break in play for the next 15 minutes.

Our previous European Cup victories demonstrate that success at this level often requires an otherworldly level of focus, determination and bloodymindedness. We’ve had to overcome incredible odds before – so in my view, that should be the level of expectation that’s placed upon each set of players tasked with attempting to win it. The current team are surely bigger, better and more experienced than to be so phased by a simple red card?

We were still in a great position with a lead to defend yet completely went to pieces for 10 minutes. Understandable perhaps, but not what we should be striving for. Given the meticulous level of planning that goes into the preparations for these ties, I couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed by the collective response of the team, before they eventually regrouped and mustered up a final assault at the death. One hopes that these shortcomings were at least touched upon during the dressing room de-brief/Carrington inquest that followed – and defeat wasn’t merely put down to ‘bad luck’ or ‘poor referee’.

One thing pretty much everyone is in agreement of was the decision to omit Wayne Rooney from the starting XL, a move vindicated by another excellent turn from Danny Welbeck. A simple, tactical switch that looked to be paying great dividends up until Nani’s red card, but one that lends further credence to the growing suspicion that Rooney’s United career could be entering its final phase.

Rooney is a puzzling figure these days. On one hand you’ve got a player who’s approaching 200 goals in 400 games for United – who if he remains at OT, in a couple of years time will more-than-likely become the leading scorer in the club’s history before his 30th birthday. He’s 27 years old, and should by rights be in his prime as a footballer – not merely treading water as is frequently the case at present. There persists an uneasy sense that after 9 seasons here, the relationship between club and player has become somewhat stale. Is it time to confront the hard truth and recognise a split should take place sooner rather than later – before things start to get really messy?

I’ll admit now I’ve always been a huge Rooney fanboy. Even at the point Ronaldo went stupid and started scoring 40 goals a season, ‘Wazza’ remained the main man in my eyes. Those two of course were utterly peerless in tandem, the id-ridden superstar and the uncomplaining, selfless foil – in shit 80’s pop terms, Rooney was content to be the Andrew Ridgeley of the duo whilst Ronnie went all George Michaelish.

wham

There was always the expectation that Ronaldo would fly the nest and realise his “dream” of joining Madrid, however October 2010’s news that Rooney wanted out came as something of a hammer blow to pretty much everyone connected with the club. I recall talking to a well known red immediately after the bombshell had been dropped. Genuinely gutted, he put the level of feeling on a par with the Spring of 1984 when rumours of Bryan Robson leaving for AC Milan or Juventus started to circulate.

Some may baulk at this comparison, but it’s true. Post-Keane, Rooney had become the heartbeat of United’s side. Yes, Ronaldo had reached a stratospheric level of performance that nobody ever predicted, but Rooney had developed greatly too. He could (still does) play anywhere on the pitch, his goalscoring reached prolific levels in the season after Ronnie’s departure (he’d racked up 30 by March) and it was only his injury in Munich that abruptly pulled the rug from under United’s season. He was rushed back for the Munich home game, playing when clearly unfit, a decision that led to him missing the games v’s Chelsea and Blackburn that resulted in Chelsea seizing the title initiative. As Duncan White noted in The Torygraph following that Chelsea defeat, “The obvious problem was the absence of a 5’10” lump of squat Scouse gristle.”

Although he’d reasserted himself as United’s star performer, he apparently shared fans’ concerns about the lack of star names incoming and decided top billing at OT wasn’t enough. With the £80M Ronaldo proceeds having disappeared into the Glazerhole as opposed to re-invested in the team, the prospect of losing Rooney wasn’t something anyone saw coming. Fergie included, it seemed. Most players making such a call would rightly expect to be waved out the door, instead Rooney was appeased with a massive new contract and assurances that the club shared his ambitions. The only other players that United had indulged to this extent were Ronaldo himself and before that, Cantona and perhaps Roy Keane – names of the highest calibre that indicate the regard in which Rooney was held.

Unlike Ronaldo, Cantona and Keane, Rooney has never managed to re-establish himself in supporters’ affections following the very public game of brinksmanship that was played out 3 years ago. A regular complaint is that his performances don’t merit the world class salary he’s drawing, not to mention his ongoing struggle for consistency and match fitness. You never know, from one game to the next which Rooney will be on display. One minute he’s pinging a perfect, Scholes-style 40 yarder across the pitch, moments later he’s miscontrolling a simple ball and failing to find a teammate 4ft away. Most agree he’s better suited playing upfront, yet that’s also the position where he’s left exposed and frustrated – on the margins of the action and denied of his natural inclination to roam around the pitch.

One could suggest it’s been a case of ‘careful what you wish for’. Rooney wanted United to sign the best players, which we undoubtedly did last summer with Van Persie’s acquisition. Did he naively believe such arrivals couldn’t possibly jeopardise his own status at the club? Or has he simply reached the stage where he’s not that arsed anymore? Unlikely. As has already been stated, Rooney remains an ego-free presence on the pitch who seems happy to share rather than hog the limelight. Aside from the rumours regarding his deteriorating relationship with Fergie and a couple of other alleged bust-ups, Rooney remains a well liked and popular figure within the dressing room…on the surface at any rate.

Fergie moved to put the recent rumours to bed by assuring one and all that Rooney continues to be an integral part of his plans and his future remains at United. Standard stuff in light of the fact we’re at a critical stage of the season with a potential double on the horizon. Indeed, if we end the season on a high with Rooney continuing his current scoring blitz it’s entirely plausible a contract offer will follow and this recent bout of speculation will be consigned to history. Camp Roo meanwhile, usually never slow to make their thoughts public, have been remarkably quiet of late. With only two years remaining on his deal, expect this one to be resolved sooner rather than later…

Copyright Red News – April 2013

www.rednews.co.uk

Perfect 10

My first ever meeting with a real life footballer was a cringe inducing, sobering experience which taught me a valuable lesson: never speak to them. I was 14 years old and playing pool in Menorca when I was shocked to discover a familiarish face on an adjacent table. It was that bald bloke who used to play for Southampton. Without a second thought I approached him and politely enquired “Excuse me mate, are you David Armstrong?” “Yes”, he replied. And that was that.

Footballers are strange looking creatures in the flesh. We see them regularly at the match, they’re on the telly constantly and appear plastered across huge billboards advertising whatever stuff they’re paid to advertise. It all builds up a sense of familiarity that is only dispelled when meeting them in real life.

I realised this for the first time after stumbling across Robbie Savage whilst doing the weekly shop a while back. What a weird looking bugger that lad is, the narrowest shoulders and the thinnest arms I’ve ever seen on a man. Now I consider myself a natural athlete and have never felt it necessary to spend even 10 minutes in a gym…but he made my underwhelming frame look like Tarzan in comparison.

A few years ago I bumped into Ole Solskjaer before a gig at the Apollo and was taken aback by how different he looked from how I ‘knew’ him previously. Despite standing 5’10” tall according to Wikipedia, he seemed much smaller…and at risk of sounding all homoerotic about it, his walk alone was enough to set him apart from us mere mortals. No swagger as such, just all lithe and sinewy – he struck me as the sort of bloke who’d make a magnificent diamond thief.

The Premier League today is full of ‘talents’ you could describe as athletes first, footballers second. I’m thinking of players like Glen Johnson or Micah Richards here, limited skills but incredibly well developed athletes who’ve been coached and trained to within an inch of their lives – they have the ability to run up and down for 90 minutes, make bone crunching challenges then do something half decent with the actual ball when the opportunity presents itself. Essentially though, with different guidance and choices – these lads could just as easily be making a living lugging bricks about or playing rugby league.

Wayne Rooney was once hailed as the antidote to players of this ilk filling up Premier League team sheets. Rooney, we were informed, was a resolutely English, Alf Tupperesque throwback to the heroes of yesteryear…an instinctive street footballer raised on egg and chips as opposed to multivitamins and protein shakes. A breath of fresh air and a talent to cherish in a modern game laden with maladroit, muscled freaks. This was the consensus of opinion regarding Rooney the prodigious teenager, however – it can’t really be applied the 26 year old, 2012 version who should by now be approaching his prime.

Rooney’s annus horribilis the season before last and subsequent patchy form last season, (only masked by an exemplary goal return) have led to renewed speculation about his attitude and fitness. Ferguson’s comments (“Wayne is a boy that needs games, you can see that from the frame he’s got”) were innocent enough, but could be interpreted as a timely indication of his private feelings on the matter. Perhaps most tellingly of all, there was no apoplectic Fergie response when his quotes were run by the Mail alongside old pictures of Rooney emerging from the sea whilst on holiday with his similarly ‘big boned’ parents. One is left with the distinct impression that relations between the manager and his star man could be described as ‘strained’ at best.

So Rooney has been left to (ahem) digest all this and in the light of Van Persie’s arrival, faces a potential battle for his place in the team upon regaining form and fitness. Anderson meanwhile, another player with long suspected re-fuelling issues, appears to have abandoned all pretence of being taken seriously and judging by the recent pics posted on his Instagram account, is now experimenting with self-parody.

One might naively expect a player lacking stamina and consistency who’s no longer considered for his national side, to spend the 2 week break putting in some serious shifts at Carrington – possibly attempting to get in peak condition for the season’s resumption. Not Ando, no. Instead he’s having it large in Dubai posting pictures of his dinner on the internet and sporting a shiteating grin that positively screams ‘I don’t give a fuck’. I’ve long lost hope of this clown ever kicking on and fulfilling the promise he held as a teenager – I’ve given up, he’s beaten me and fair play to him. You’ve got to admire the chutzpah of the lad really, despite not being an A grade footballer he’s proven himself to be an international class wind-up merchant.

A player who could never be accused of carrying excess weight is our bequiffed Spaniel in net. Dave De Gea turned in a MOTM performance at Goodison and then (in conjunction with Vidic) followed this up with a spectacular gaffe in the Fulham game. No biggie though, one would have thought, it’s exactly the sort of thing that happens once or twice a season to every keeper. Not according to Ferguson however, who then proceeds to drop him for the Southampton game, happily telling reporters it was all due to the Fulham error and he’d be back in a couple of weeks.

I can’t have been alone in thinking ‘what the fuck?’ at this decision. Last term we only saw the best of De Gea after Lindegaard’s injury had made the keeper selection a no brainer. Constantly switching did nothing to help defensive stability during the early part of the season and only served to highlight his perceived weakness in dealing with crosses – to the extent teams began to target him purposefully. As the season progressed and De Gea’s form and confidence improved, it ceased to be an issue – yet here we are back at square one with the ‘vulnerable young Spaniard’ back in the spotlight. He’s young and he’ll make mistakes, which pretty much everyone accepts…so I fail to see how holding him back and trying to shield him from journeymen cloggers like Rickie Lambert is going to aid his progress.

Due to the Editor’s say-so (those pesky print deadlines again), this article was submitted prior to last weeks game at Anfield. So I’ll conclude by passing on my sincere hopes that the team decided to turn up for the game for the first time in a decade or so and that no reds in attendance felt moved to join in with the fuckwitted #mufcfamily’s call for us to join in with massed, communal singing of ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ in support of the Hillsborough Justice Campaign. We should respect the scousers for their ongoing fight but never lose sight of the fact that in football terms, they remain the enemy. 

Copyright Red News – September 2012

www.rednews.co.uk